The Timid Interviews
by Timid Vulpine
Summary: Jenna Jenkins and Timid Vulpine team up to ask your questions to the characters of Star Fox. Expect insanity. First chapter is crap. Rated M for... well, the contents in general.
1. Chapter 1

Hi hi,

I have been inspired by shadow shinobi57 and Hakkyou000 (I think...) to do an on going, random, humorous interview where you, the reader, can post questions in the form of reviews, and I will do my best to give you answers. You can even ask ME!!! nothing personal though please, else you shall be shunned.

I'll just do a few of characters this time. I might add more.

Oh and I won't be doing a proper AUTHOR'S INPUT at the beginning. At least not every time. Probably not at the end either.

Jenna Jenkins is copyright of me. Please get my permission before using her.

I don't own the Shadow Realm or Star Fox.

Thoughts are in brackets, stage directions are in italics, normal text is speech, and bold is designating who is talking.

Anyways, here goes.

Bye byes world of sanity,

Timid Vulpine.

---

_The setting is a dark room. There is a small table, a small group of chairs and 2 tall candles, sitting on the table. In 2 of the seats sit 2 young, chestnut vixens._

_One has slightly paler fur but slightly darker, shoulder length hair. She wears said hair loose and messy. She also wears a black t-shirt, blue jeans, black socks, a blue watch, a blue dream catcher necklace and a green pendant. Her name is Timid Vulpine, she has dark brown eyes that match her hair and glasses._

_The other is slightly darker than her friend, but is all one shade, with slightly longer hair, tied into a ponytail. She wears a navy blue top, black jeans, navy blue boots, a black watch and a black dream catcher necklace. Her name is Jenna Jenkins and she has pale brown eyes._

_Then, Timid speaks up._

**Timid:** I thought you were going to supply the victims if I supplied the location!!!

**Jenna:** I did. Katt and Krystal promised to come, and they said they'd do their boyfriends.

**Timid:** Ooh, so THAT'S why their not here yet!

_Suddenly, the door opens and in walk Katt, Krystal, Fox and Falco._

**Timid:** (Finally). _She spots the way Fox and Krystal are looking dreamily at each other and all is forgiven._

**Katt:** Sorry we're late, but certain parties...

**Timid:** _Puts a hand up to stop her._ Don't worry. If we want to know, we'll ask.

**Jenna:** Everyone, this is my blood sister, Timid Vulpine. Timid, this is...

**Timid:** Jenna, you don't need to introduce them. They're famous, I know them.

_With that out the way, everyone takes a seat around the seat._

**Timid:** As you can probably tell, this is an interview and, as you can probably see, we're a tad short on funding. We've got a deal going on with one of Jenna's friends. They'll pay us something like 10 credits per question asked. I guess we can keep the room for the next one.

**Jenna:** Right, I'll ask the first question. Hmm... _Her gaze falls on Falco._ Falco! How do you get away with being a general jerk all the time?

**Falco:** Well, THAT'S obvious! 'Cuz I'm the best.

_Fox snorts._

**Fox:** Hardly!

**Falco:** If I'm not the best, then you're GAY!

**Krystal:** NO HE ISN'T!!!

_Everyone is taken by surprise by this outburst. She snuggles into Fox's arms and he kisses her forehead._

**Timid:** Ooo-KAY... My turn!!! Fox and Krystal. How will you 2 decide what to name your kids if and when you have any.

_Fox blushes. Krystal whispers in his ear softly, making him smile._

**Fox:** I'll name the boys, Krys'll name the girls.

**Jenna:** Personal, I don't think that's fair if you only have one kid. But that's you're way, so I won't fuss. My turn again. Fox and Krystal, have you 2 'Broken the Barrier' so to speak.

_Everyone but Timid looks at her oddly._

**Jenna:** 'Made the connection'

_More weird looks._

**Timid:** What she means is 'have you 2 had sex yet?'

**Fox:** Um... Well... erm...

**Krystal:** HELL YEAH!!! Why do you think we were late?

_Timid flicks her hand, clicking her fingers._

**Timid:** I knew it! Anyway, here's one for Katt. WHY are you PINK???

**Katt:** Well..._ Her eyes start shifting around the room._ I... Um...

**Jenna:** Answer now, else Timid will use her awesome author powers to send you to the Shadow Realm!!!

**Falco:** You're the author???

**Timid:** Yup!

**Katt: **My mom was pink with black hair. My dad was a white feline.

**Jenna:** OK then, are either of your parents still alive, Katt?

**Katt:** My mom's still kickin'. She's gone naturally black now. I might do too.

**Timid:** Fox and Falco, why do you hate Wolf so much?

**Fox:** I hate him because he let Pigma onto his team after he killed my father. That and the fact that he never managed to shoot Slippy down.

**Timid:** Well, that makes sense Even I can shoot Slippy down. And Falco?

**Falco:** He can't fly.

**Jenna:** Not, a, CHANCE! Spill it!

**Falco:** I hate wolves.

**Timid:** I don't believe that.

**Falco:** FINE! I used to roll with him, he was a real bastard, I stuck with him and then he kicked me out the gag! That and he can't aim well enough to hit a barn door, let ALONE Slippy!!!

**Timid:** Finally, the truth is out. One last thing. Jenna, why are you scowling?

**Jenna:** Because I have NOT had my caffeine dose today. I need a can of cola or a cup of coffee, NOW!

**Timid:** I have a coffee donut here.

**Jenna:** That'll do. _She eats the donut in 3 quick bites._ Yummy! That's better now.

_Sees the scared looks. Krystal squealed in fear and hid her face in Fox's chest._

**Jenna: **Sorry, I have a major caffeine addiction.

**Timid:** And before we do any further mental damage to these kind vict- I mean, volunteers, I think we'll end it there. Can the readers please review and give us more questions. We are all out of good ideas.

**Jenna:** Seriously, these ones sucked anyway. I can seriously understand if you never read this one again!

**Timid:** At any rate, we're gonna try and get Bill and Fay in next time. But, for now, from both of us.

**Jenna and Timid: **Bye Byes!


	2. Chapter 2

_Please note: I only guess at your genders. If you are unhappy about my guess, or about the way I characterize you, please just let me know and I will correct it in the next one. Thank you._

_-Timid Vulpine_

_Timid is sat, asleep, in the dark room. The candles are only half their original hight, but a set of spares are sat beside them. Quietly, Jenna, Katt, Krystal and Fay come in._

**Fay:** _Whispering._ Why is she asleep?

**Jenna:**_Whispering._ She's been going to night school to learn how to teleport people in here so they can ask the questions themselves. It's left her a touch drained.

_Suddenly the door slams open and in walks Falco, followed a second after by Fox and Bill. Timid's head shoots up, she squeaks and falls off her chair._

**Timid:** Owee, my tail. _Stands up._ Alright, who did that?

_The girls all point at Falco. Timid also points at Falco and mutters something about wombats and satsuma. After a second, a small satsuma is sat where Falco had been standing. Jenna sighs._

**Jenna:** The case of the sudden satsuma._ Peals the orange fruit, allowing Falco to escape._

**Falco:** Ow! I didn't think I could bend that way!

**Jenna:** Can we get on with this already!!!

**Timid:** Sorry, but I just had to do that. Now, um... where'd I put that list?_ Her hands delve into her pockets and pull out a small list._ Here we go! First up is KrzyKrn K.

_She places her hands together and exhales. After a moment of nothing happening, a small rip in time and space forms and KrzyKrn K falls on her arse._

**KrzyKrn:** Ow!

**Jenna:** Is everyone gonna enter like that?

**Timid:** For now. Anyway, thanks for being here, KrzyKrn K.

**KrzyKrn:** A pleasure! I have some questions.

**Timid:** That's why you're here. Take a seat everyone.

_Everyone does so, then a small satsuma hits Falco on the head._

**KrzyKrn:** Sorry, I was in a supply closet. _She gets some weird looks._ Anyway, first question. To Timid: When are you updating your next chapter of Guardians and Ghosts?

**Timid:** Sorry, I've been swamped recently. I have 2 other stories, PLUS this, PLUS major homework. I'll get it done as soon as possible. Oh, and it's 'Guardian Ghosts'.

**KrzyKrn:** To Fox: Why did you name those ship... Arwings? Because Wolf named his ships Wolfens, so I'd think you'd name your ships Foxens or something. _She giggles manically for a __moment. More strange looks._

**Fox:** I didn't name them. My dad did. And the reason I don't change the name is (a) everyone has always and will always know them as Arwings, and (b) because... because... _He drops to the floor and starts crying._ BECAUSE I MISS MY DADDY!!!

_Krystal kneels by him and rubs his back gently._

**Krystal:** It's OK Fox, I understand. It's hard to loose someone. I know the feeling.

**Fox: **_Sniffles._ It never goes away, does it?

**Krystal:** No, it doesn't.

**KrzyKrn:** That is something that NO author wants to watch.

**Jenna:** Then stop watching and ask the next question.

**KrzyKrn:** To Krystal: So about your deceased planet Cerinia...where exactly did you live on that planet? In a palace? How were your parents? Do you remember any of your friends?

**Krystal:** Yeah, um... Do I HAVE to answer?

**Jenna:** Answer, else Timid will have to use her Awesome Author Powers to send you to the Shadow Realm! (We REALY need to shorten that.)

**Krystal:** OK, OK! _She looks at the floor._ I lived in one of the only cities on Cerinia. The biggest one, which would be a large town by Cornerian standards. It was only a small hut. My father was strong and kind and smart, and my mother... my mother was the same, but she had the 'Attempt to Harm My Family And You're Dead' mentality.

_Krystal sees Falco aiming a blaster at Fox's tail. She stands up hits him in the groin with a medieval mace. Like mother, like daughter._

**Krystal: **I only had a few friends, but they were good friends. Flare was an orange-red feline, Teran was a green canine, Emerald was a green vulpine and Ruby was a red vixen.

**Fox:** You had a mixed lot of friends._ He seems to have gotten over his tears and is sitting on a chair again. Krystal sits on his lap and kisses him._

**KrzyKrn:** To Falco: Your personality seems out-going and non-caring for the most part. Did you smoke pot when you were in high-school?

**Falco:** NO WAY!

**Katt:** He did. I smoked it with him. One night, we got so high that I had sex with, and I realized I liked it, so we started dating.

**Falco:** Oh, c'mon Katt! You were always staring!

**Katt:** So where you!

**KrzyKrn:** To Katt: How'd you get paired with a falcon?

_Falco glares at her._

**KrzyKrn: **Er, bird?

**Katt:** Oh, c'mon, I just answered that!

**KrzyKrn:** OK, last one. To Timid: Are you in college?

**Timid:** Not yet. Secondary School.

**KrzyKrn:** Alright, thats all. Best Wishes!

_She leaves via the door. Timid places her hands together and exhales. After a moment of nothing happening, a small rip in time and space forms and Skatepunk172 falls on his arse. I'm just gonna call him Skate._

**Skate:** Ow!

**Timid:** Welcome Skatepunk172. I understand you have some questions for these Star Fox characters.

**Skate:** Yup! Here goes. Katt: Is it "different" to make out with Falco, him having a beak and all?

**Katt:** Actually, his beak isn't as hard as it looks. But, yeah, it's kinda weird the first few times, but you get used to it.

**Skate:** Cool. Fox and Krystal: What was the weirdest thing you two had done to each other?

**Fox:** HAS to be the bunny position.

**Krystal:** So true, but it just feels so good!

**Fox:** Oh yeah, never questioned that, but it feels weird first time.

**Krystal:** Well, you've got a point there.

_They turn to see a mixture of horror and confusion on the faces of the others. They look back to each other and sighed._

**Fox:** The bunny position is when the girl wraps her legs around the guys waist and keeps her hands on the floor. The guy then shags her from that angle.

**Krystal:** It was ME who named it the bunny position because it felt like I was hopping along, like a bunny-rabbit. It IS weird first time, but once you get over that fact, then you realize it feels so good you have to do it again.

_This produces different effects for different people. Jenna and Timid start fantasizing what it must be like, Skate is looking at the 2 single vixens, wondering what it would be like with them, Fay starts fluttering her eyelashes at Bill, and Katt drapes herself over Falco. Falco and Bill look at each other._

**Bill:** You know what WE'LL be doing tonight!

**Falco:** Hell yeah!

**Bill and Falco:** The Bunny Position!!!

_Fay and Katt squeal with pleasure and kiss their respective boyfriends on the cheek._

**Fay:** Thank you, Bill.

**Bill:** Anything for you, Fay.

**Skate:** Ahem. Next question. Falco: How do you wear shoes? Isn't it painful for your talons?

**Falco:** Nah, their actually really comfortable.

**Katt:** Yeah, he has quite small talons. But HELL, those things are SHARP!!! I got SCARS from some position!!!

**Skate:** Um... o... Kay... Next question. Fox and Krystal: What is your favorite tribe on Sauria?

**Krystal:** Cloud Runners. I named my personal ship after them.

**Fox:** Earth Walkers. They were strong, and they gave me Tricky to help. OK, he was annoying, but he was useful too.

**Skate:** Well, that's it. Bye.

_He leaves via the door. Timid places her hands together and exhales. After a moment of nothing happening, a small rip in time and space forms and shadow shinobi57 lands on his feet. Timid giggles like a fan girl._

**Shadow:** Wow, I'm not on the floor.

_Timid giggled in a fan girl way again. Jenna rolled her eyes and stepped forward._

**Jenna:** shadow shinobi57, welcome. You have some questions, right?

**Shadow:** Yeah, lets go. First question. To Everyone: If you have read my fic "That Whole Q&A Trip", what do you think?

**Timid:** I LOVE it! It's my inspiration for this. You give me THE funniest answers to all my questions, you have sexual innuendo EVERYWHERE, and the torture that happens to Slippy!!! It's CLASSIC! OK, you call me a guy some times, but SO WHAT?!?

**Jenna:** It's cool. Could be better.

**Timid:** DON'T DISS SHADOW'S FAN FIC!!!

**Jenna:** OK, OK, no head bites, girl!

**Shadow:** Nice of you to care. Now, next question. To everyone: HA! I made you all play Truth Dare or Strip. What do you think of that?

**Jenna, Timid and Fay:** Not me.

**Shadow:** I know not you, I mean the ones who I HAVE made play Truth, Dare or Strip.

**Katt:** I can't believe you made Falco streak through Corneria!!! Then again, I got to warm up his, erm, third leg.

**Falco:** Yeah, that rocked.

**Fox:** Ya got my approval. _He looks Krystal up and down._ I got a great thing out of that one.

**Krystal:** Same here.

**Bill:** WHAT THE HELL DID FOX DO TO ME TO MAKE ME KISS HIM IN REVENGE?!?

**Shadow:** Um... MOVING ON!!! To Krystal: If there was one thing Fox could improve on while having sex with you, what would it be?

**Krystal:** Less kissing, more biting.

**Fox:** WHAT??? I thought you liked the kissing!

**Krystal:** I do, but a vixen needs a bit of rough love every once in a while.

**Fox:** I'll give it a go, OK?

**Krystal:** Other than that, he's the best I've had.

**Shadow:** To Jenna: I have hear a truckload of caffeine filled drinks and snacks. What will you do for them?

**Jenna:** _She's suddenly holding a knife to Shadow's neck._ Gimmie!

**Timid:** I'll give you a kiss if you give them to her.

**Shadow:** OK. _He gives Jenna a set of keys. 20 seconds later, the door slams._ What was that about a...

_He can't finish the sentence because Timid's lips are pressed against his. As their lips part, Timid starts giggling and bouncing in a circle._

**Timid:** I kissed Shadow! I kissed Shadow! Oh my God! I kissed Shadow! I kissed Shadow! I kissed Shadow! _She regained her self control and stopped her bouncing._

**Falco:** That was SO retarded. _For the second time this interview, Falco is replaced by a small satsuma._

**Shadow:** I think I got a fan. Last question. To Timid: When I portray myself in my fics, I am human. What animal would I be in your fics if I agreed to turn into it. Yes, my chakra will allow me to do that.

**Timid:** Well, lets see. You like violence, so I guess I'd put you as a cat-wolf crossover, because felines have retractable claws and wolves are stronger than any other animals.

**Shadow:** Cool. And by the way, did you think that offer over?

**Timid:** The one about taking starfoxluvers place in your fic war? Thank you, but I think I need more practice first. Maybe one day.

**Shadow:** Alright then, your choice. Keep impressing me. Shadow out!

_He leaves via the door. Timid places her hands together and exhales. After a moment of nothing happening, a small rip in time and space forms and... nothing happens. Just then, Jenna walks in with ShadowFox0324. She's vaguely buzzing and has some coffee froth around her muzzle._

**Timid:** (I knew this would happen at some point.) Welcome, ShadowFox0324. I'm just gonna call you SF0324. And you have some questions, right?

**SF0324:** Yup. Timid: Where exactly did you come up with the Miyu X Panther pairing?

**Timid:** Well, I HATED the Krystal X Panther pairing...

**Fox:** Me too.

**Krystal:** It was a HUGE mistake. I like Fox MUCH better. _Pounces Fox, rips off his shirt and starts kissing him all over._

**Bill:** Come on, you 2! It's 4 months 'till February.

**Timid:** AHEM! Anyway, I hated the thought of Panther and Krystal together- yes, I know you do too Fox- and I didn't like the thought of Miyu being without a boyfriend, so I got them together in my mind and... it just worked!

**SF0324:** OK then. Timid: Uh...damn...hm...oh yeah...no...erm... I remember! Okay what's your favorite Star Fox game?

**Timid:** Oh... Tough one... It's a choice between Assault and Adventures. I don't know. As an immediate chose, I'd have to go for Assault first, Adventures second and Command third. But that's only 'cause I haven't played the earlier ones and they haven't released one on wii yet.

**SF0324:** OK. Jenna and Timid: In the story, will Panther and Miyu have kids? SPOILER! [SF0324: Man I love doing that] {ShadowFox: Just like you love 2 touch yourself}

**Jenna:** I'm not in charge of that. Timid?

**Timid:** Not in this one. Maybe later on.

**SF0324:** Thank you. Now, if you'll excuse me ladies, I have a demonic smart-assed vulpine to take care of. Deuces. [Shadow: ShadowFox get your furry ** back here! X( ]

_He runs out the door. The others watch her. Then they turn back to the conversation._

**Jenna:** That is one STRANGE boy.

**Timid:** Polite though. Let's see... _She starts to count off something on her fingers. _I count about 21 questions. YAY! That's 210 credits.

**Jenna:** And that's important because...?

**Timid:** Because we can start to buy this room! It's actually quite big, but we'd have to finish wiring the electrics. The deposit is 200, the full price is 700 in weekly installments of 100, paid on Sundays. It means we have the deposit! So?

**Jenna:** Hrm... a permanent venue...

**Timid:** As soon as we've finished paying for the room, we can start saving for a coffee machine.

**Jenna:** Deal. Finish the interview and fill in the paperwork, I'll hit up my friend for the cash.

**Timid:** Deal. OK, thanks people, but please don't forget Bill and Fay.

**Katt:** Didn't you say something about Miyu last night?

**Timid:** Oh yes! Ahem. ATTENTION EVERYONE!!! NEXT INTERVIEW, WE WILL DEFINITELY BE HAVING MIYU AND PANTHER JOINING US!!! PLEASE GIVE THEM SOME QUESTIONS TOO!!! Thank you. Bye Byes.


	3. Chapter 3

_This time, the room is empty. Or so it seems. Suddenly, the shadows reveal Timid, Jenna, Katt, Krystal, Fox, Falco, Fay and Bill. Everyone but Timid seems quite dazed._

**Fay:** I didn't know the room was that big!

**Jenna:** I think I saw a proper kitchen back there.

**Timid:** Yes, there was. But it's a fixer upper. Where the HELL is Miyu.

_As if by magic (or a convenient script), in walk Panther and Miyu._

**All girls except Miyu:** DEAR LORD, NOT HIM!!!

**Panther:** Yes, it's Panther. You got a problem with him?!? _He suddenly whines as Miyu flicks his nose._

**Miyu:** NO! We agreed, no third person. Else what?

**Panther:**_As if he's reciting something._ Else you go on hiatus.

**Miyu:** And if you cheat on me whether I'm on hiatus or not, what will I do?

**Panther:** _Reciting again_ You'll put me on PERMINANT hiatus.

_Every boy in the room winces in sympathy. Well, except one._

**Slippy:** What does hiatus mean?

**Timid:** GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

**Jenna:** All those who life is worth living, move AWAY from Slippy! NOW!!!

_Everyone does so._

**Slippy:** But I like living. It means that people give me attention!

_Timid is glaring and pointing at Slippy. The shadows behind him suddenly come to life and start to cover him._

**Slippy:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! HELP ME!!!

**Everyone but Slippy:** NO!

_By this time, Slippy is covered by the shadows, which pull him INTO the floor. Despite the weirdness of it, everyone cheers._

**Timid:**Now THAT, is sendin' someone to the Shadow Realm!!!

**Miyu:** Such style, such sophistication...

**Panther:** So evil! I'm impressed!

**Jenna:** And I'm impressed you can actually speak in the first person. Well done.

**Miyu:** Yeah, well done, Panther. I'm proud of you.

_She whispers in his ear, resulting in an erection._

**Timid:** CAN WE GET ON WITH THIS?!? It's over a page long already! Oi vie!

**Jenna:** You're the one in control here!

**Timid:** Good point. Now, let's see...

_Timid places her hands together and exhales. After a moment of nothing happening, a small rip in time and space forms and StarFox0324 falls on his arse._

_-Quick note here.-_

_-Last time, it seems, I made it look like shadow shinobi57 was yelling at SF0324. That was just me going copy and paste. Sorry for the confusion.-_

_-Timid Vulpine-_

**SF0324:** OW! I think I was better off walking through the door. Anyhow I'm back. {ShadowFox: As if anyone cares} [SF0324: Don't start with me ShadowFox. I've got a rifle. I know how 2 use it!! X( ] (In case you're wondering ShadowFox is the darker side of me.)

**Timid:** Less speculating, more asking questions!

**SF0324:** Alright, alright! Yeash! To Bill: Why the hell did you have a southern drawl in Command? Also what's Katina like?

**Timid:** How the HELL does he have a southern drawl in Command?!? The southern drawl is an accent, not the actual words!!! And all you hear is "Myan myer marm" from every character!!!

**Bill:** O... KAY! Katina's cool. Or, rather, hot. OK, the dust can REALY get on your nerves, but it's got some great cities...

**Falco:** And Fay!

**Bill:** Yeah, and Fay. _He realizes what he said._ HAY!

**Fay:** Bill, it's romantic. _She sits on his lap and wraps her arms around him._ And you KNOW I'm one of the best things on Katina.

**Bill:** Not ONE of the best, Hun. _He holds her closer._ THE best!!!

**SF0324:** Barf-o-Rama!!! To everyone except Timid, Jenna, Fox, Krys, and Bill: Where are you from?

**Fay:** Katina.

**Katt:** A planet outside the Lylat system called Persia

**Miyu and Panther:** Same.

**Falco:** Well DUH! Corneria!

**SF0324:** Just wanting to know. To all: How would you describe yourself?

**Timid:** Kind, insane, random, ect.

**Jenna:** Strange, kind, hopeless with emotional problems.

**Fay:** Shy, polite, out-going.

**Jenna:** Is that even possible?

**Timid:** Yes, it is. At least, it is in my stories.

**Bill:** Skilled, passionate, a great shag.

**Fay:** Too true.

**Katt:** Charming, witty, hyper.

**Falco:** Strong, great pilot, great shag.

**Katt:** So, so true.

**Krystal:** I don't want to answer.

**Timid:** That's fine. You don't have to.

**Panther:** I'm -MPHM!

**Miyu:** I refuse to let him say anything other than he's a great shag!

**Panther:** I AM a great shag!!!

**Miyu:** Just wanted you sticking to the facts. As for me... I'm modern, out-going and... doing the best I can with my life

**SF0324:** And Fox?

**Fox:** I... I'm an idiot, I don't know a good thing when I got it, and...

**Krystal:** You're a great shag!

**Fox:** I wasn't gonna say that!

**Krystal:** Tough luck!!!

**SF0324:** To Panther: Okay, Why did you like to talk in 3rd person?

**Panther:** I thought it was good way to pick up girls. It wasn't though.

**SF0324:** Last one. To Panther: Who did you find Hotter: Miyu or Krystal? [SF0324: Might wanna answer this carefully or you could be horribly maimed] {SF: One sided question anyone?}

**Panther:** I'll have to go with Miyu.

**Miyu:** Smart choice. If you'd chosen Krystal, you'd be horribly maimed.

**Panther:** You'd really do that?

**Miyu:** Oh Gods, not by me!!! I was talking about FOX!!!

**SF0324:** True. Okay, that's all I got. Bye.

_He leaves via the door. Timid places her hands together and exhales. After a moment of nothing happening, a small rip in time and space forms and shadow shinobi57 lands on his feet._

**Shadow:** Wow, 2 successful landings in a row. I must be liked.

**Jenna:** ...Just get on with it!

**Shadow:** Right. To Panther: Does it burn having Krystal leave you for Fox? Does it make you shrivel with shame? (sniffs) Ah...I can smell your failure. It sustains me.

**Panther:** Too bad. I've got Miyu now.

**Miyu:** I love you too, Panther.

**Shadow:** OK then Panther, who is a better girlfriend: Krystal or Miyu?

**Panther:** I, like, just answered that one. It's Miyu.

**Krystal:** Does that mean that you'll stop hounding me?

**Miyu:** Don't worry, Krystal, I'll make sure to keep him in check.

**Shadow:** OK then. To Miyu: I've heard that all felines have a small fang like thing on their dick. Is this the same with Panther, and if so, does it hurt?

**Miyu:** That is an inappropriate question and I refuse to answer it. Panther's nob is mine, ALL MINE!!! _She hugs Panther tightly, shooting evil looks at Shadow._

**Shadow:** Alright then. To Everyone: Since it's almost Halloween, what are you guys going as?

**Timid:** Dark witch

**Jenna:** Samus Aran.

**Katt:** Vampiress

**Falco:** Vampire.

**Krystal:** Either Zelda or Sheik.

**Fox:** Link.

**Fay:** White witch

**Bill:** Druid.

**Miyu:** Nothing

**Panther:** Same here.

_Everyone puts 2 and 2 together. Well, everyone but..._

**Slippy:** Won't you get cold, going trick or treating with no clothes on?

**Timid:** Shadow, do you want to take care of him?

**Shadow:** Gladly. _He gets out a chainsaw and starts chasing Slippy._

**Timid:** Oh, he's good.

_Shadow comes back, covered in toad guts. He sits back down and puts away the chainsaw._

**Shadow:** Next question. To Fox: If you were to give Krystal a diamond ring (not marriage related), what would be your fantasy as to what she would have to do in return?

**Fox:** Lock me in the same room as her for the ENTIRE of February.

**Shadow:** Wow. To Krystal: Would you do what Fox just said you would have to do?

**Krystal:** I already have. He bought me a set of diamond stud earrings for Christmas 2 years ago. Past 2 Februarys have been just me, him, and a bottle of chocolate sauce, in a locked room.

**Fox:** And the bunny position.

**Krystal:** Yes, and the bunny position.

**Shadow:** Wow. I guess there'll be more diamonds for Christmas THIS year.

**Fox:** Too right!

**Shadow:** Anyway, next question. To Timid and Jenna: What is your favorite Halloween candy? Because I have special ordered a few hundreds pounds of candy, but I need to know what kinds.

**Jenna:** Something with coffee in it!

**Timid:** Hm... Marshmallows and chocolate.

**Shadow:** OK, thanks. Next, to Fox, Falco, Bill, and Panther: What is your definition of "bonerific"?

**Fox, Falco, Bill and Panther:** My girlfriend.

**Shadow:** Interesting answers... To Wolf-

**Jenna:** Hello?!? Does it LOOK like Wolf's in here?!?

**Shadow:** Sorry! To Timid: I'm gonna put up a new fic by the end of this week. Will you read it?

**Timid:** Of course! But I warn you, get me attached to a character and then kill them off, I'll stop reading.

**Shadow:** Consider me warned! Keep impressing me. Shadow out!

_He leaves via the door. Timid sighs._

**Timid:** That was about, what, 17 questions? That means 170 credits. That means we don't HAVE to do another interview until Monday at the earliest.

**Jenna:** I'll try and get Lucy for the next one. We need another single chick.

**Timid:** OK then. Ahem. ATTENTION EVERYONE!!! NEXT INTERVIEW, LUCY HARE MAY BE JOINING US!!! PLEASE REMEMBER TO SEND IN SOME QUESTIONS FOR HER!!! There we are.

**Jenna:** Well done. Now, from both of us,

**Timid and Jenna:** Bye Byes!!!


	4. Chapter 4

_Please note: I have not watched " The Happening"._

_All the girls: Fay, Krystal, Katt, Miyu, Jenna and (new arrival) Lucy, are all discussing potential roles in Timid's upcoming fan fiction._

**Fay:** You know that news girl from Forbidden Lynx?

**Lucy:** Yeah? So what?

**Fay:** I hear she's gonna be the bully.

**Lucy:** NO WAY!!!

**Jenna:** I hear that you're gonna be the supportive best friend, Lucy.

**Krystal:** That's no fair! Why can't I do it?

**Jenna:** Because you never went to that school.

**Krystal:** Oh yeah...

_Timid storms in, followed by Bill, Fox, Falco and Panther. She slams her palms on the table._

**Timid:** STOP GIVING AWAY VITAL PLOT STUFF!!!

**Other girls:** _Looking at their feet._ Sorry, Timid.

**Timid.** That's OK. Now, I have an announcement to make. We have a mortgage on the room... _Others cheer._ ...but it's in monthly installments of 100, payed on the last day of each month, and we're a month behind. On that sobering note, let's get on.

_She places her hands together and exhales. After a moment of nothing happening, a small rip in time and space forms and StarFox0324 falls on his arse._

**SF0324:** Ow!

**Timid:** Sorry, I'm out of practice.

**SF0324:** That's OK. First question. AWW MAN!! HOW COME SHADOW GETS TO EXECUTE SLIPPY?! I wanted to do it...

**Timid:** Sorry, better luck next time.

**SF0324:** OK, Why do you have to be so violent, Timid?

**Timid:** Because hat is the way modern society has formed me. Plus, it's funny.

**SF0324:** Why do I keep landing on my butt?

**Timid:** Like I said, I'm out of practice. Sorry.

**SF0324:** Who else will be appearing on the show?

**Timid:** I'm not sure yet. But I'm getting Katt's mother, Theya, in next time.

**Katt:** Oh dear, that won't go too well for me, will it?

**Timid:** Maybe.

**SF0324:** OK then. To the Star Fox cast: If you're all animals, have any of you reverted to your basic instincts?

**Miyu:** All the time! In the bedroom...

**All boys, Krystal, Katt and Fay:** Same.

**Jenna:** HOT SEX!!!

**SF0324: **... Alright then. If i made an interview fic like this [Not exactly mind you] would ya read it?

**Timid:** Maybe. It'd have to be insane, though.

**Falco:** What, like you? BWAHAHAHAHAHA! _A banana replaces him._

**Timid:** And it'd have to be M rated.

**Katt:** I'm just gonna go, well, masturbate with the banana.

**Timid:** Fine, knock yourself out.

_30 seconds later, erotic moans are heard from a nearby supply closet._

**SF0324:** O_o... What, like that?!? O... Kay... then. Who exactly is Jenna?

**Jenna:** I'm the main character in an upcoming fan fic.

**Timid:** She's also my favorite OC, and she's based loosely on me.

**SF0324:** OK now I'm done. No wait... _SMACK!_

**Lucy:** What sort of dickweed randomly runs into a WALL before leaving, Tim?

**Timid:** The sort of dickweed that leaves me in charge of how to get him to leave after writing "SMACK" in their review, Luce.

_She places her hands together and exhales. After a moment of nothing happening, a small rip in time and space forms and KrzyKrn K falls on her arse. I've shortened the name._

**KKK:** OW! Why does that keep happening?!? Oh well. First question. Krystal- Have you ever done anything lesbian or radical to your "normal" ways?

**Krystal:** Well... Once, I got SO pissed, I ended up having sex with Katt and Lucy.

**Fox:** What was it like?

**Krystal:** It was different... in a good way. But you're better, Fox.

**KKK:** Fox- What's it like to live with everyone on one ship in outer space separated from all of society back on Corneria?

**Fox:** It's nice. I got hassled SO much when I was living part-time on Corneria, so I just got fed up and moved.

**KKK:** Falco- Can you fly? I mean, without your Arwing.

**Jenna:** He's still a banana, and I think he's still inside Katt, so I'd say "no" for now.

**KKK:** Um... OK then. Lucy- How old are you now?

**Lucy:** 28, coming up 29.

**KKK:** Lucy- Where is your dad?

**Lucy:** Working, I HOPE.

**Fay:** What do you mean, "you hope"?

**Lucy:** I keep catching him...

**Timid:** What? You keep catching him what?!?

**Lucy:** Dressing up as my mother.

_Several people run off and vomit. When they get back, everyone continues._

**KKK:** Right then, Lucy- Do you have feelings for anyone on the Star Fox team? Star Wolf?

**Lucy:** NO!!! I have a boyfriend, y'know!

**Jenna:** OH MY GOD!!! Who? WHO?

**Lucy:** You remember Chris, right?

**Jenna:** No WAY! He left my brother???

**Lucy:** NO!!! I'm going out with his big brother!

**Jenna:** Oh yeah, George!

_Everyone looks quite oddly at them, then get back to the questions._

**KKK:** Everyone- If you could get superpowers, then what would they be?

**Everyone:** Too... much... choice...

**KKK:** Fine then! Everyone- Are you going to see Saw V?

**Jenna, Timid and Lucy:** Not a chance! It looks too scary!

**Katt:** I'm taking Falco.

**Krystal:** Fox was talking about taking me...

**Fay:** Bill, I've seen those posters. I'm scared.

**Bill:** Don't worry, Fluffy, I'll protect you.

**Miyu:** Oh, thanks for reminding me. I'm going with Panther.

**Panther:** Yeah, we go to all the scary stuff together. Whenever something horrific jumps out, she grabs my rod so hard, I almost bite through my tongue to keep my scream in. And afterwards...

**KKK:** Not needing to hear anymore!!! Anyway, Bye bye everyone! _She throws sour patch straws everywhere before exiting._ Happy Halloween!

**Lucy:** YAY! _Starts eating them._

**Timid:** Bit late, but oh well.

_She places her hands together and exhales. After a moment of nothing happening, a small rip in time and space forms and Skatepunk172 falls on his arse._

**Skate:** OW! That hurt... Ah well, can't be helped. First question. Lucy: A little personal, who did you like having sex with the most?

**Lucy:** Well, DUH! My boyfriend, George Stevens, of course.

**Fox:** The guy with the gay little brother?

**Lucy:** Does EVERYONE automatically think "gay little brother" when they think of George?

**Skate:** Ahem. Next question. Panther: Are you Mexican? Your theme song suggests so...

**Panther:** This was explained before. I'm PERSIAN!!! From the planet Persia, in a different system. NOT MEXICO!!!

**Miyu:** Panther, calm down and I'll watch "The Happening" with you when we get home. _She sits on his lap, her hands between his legs._ Remember that? BIG squeeze...

**Panther:** I'm calm.

**Skate:** _Gibbers incoherently for a second, the word "Wombat" coming up twice, then calms down as well._ Um... Bill: Where were you during the Aparoid invasion? Were you not on Katina at the time?

**Bill:** I was meeting up with Fluffy Fay on Titania.

**Fox:** And WHY didn't you go BACK!!! I could've used your HELP!!!

**Bill:** Um... er...

**Fay:** That was my fault. Sorry. I was keeping him... busy.

**Fox:** Um, well, in that case...

**Skate:** And on that increasingly weird note, I'm off.

_Leaves via door. Timid places her hands together and exhales. After a few seconds of nothing happening, a small rip in time and space forms and shadow shinobi57 walks through._

**Shadow:** Wow, that doesn't happen much. First question! To Lucy: Every girl your age has a crush on a famous celebrity. Who's yours? Why? And do you have any fantasies relating to said crush?

**Lucy:** (I hope Georgie isn't reading this...) Gerard Way. But no fantasies

**Fay:** The lead singer from "My Chemical Romance"?

**Lucy:** Yeah... (~)I see you lying next to me(~)  
(~)With words I thought I'd never speak(~)  
(~)Awake and unafraid(~)  
(~)Asleep or dead(~)

**Timid:** Good voice!

**Shadow:** Yeah, your good. To Everyone: Besides losing your love, what is your worst nightmare that relates to killing or mutilation?

**Fay:** Being locked in a graveyard without Bill at midnight.

**Bill:** Fluffy Fay being brainwashed, then hired to kill me.

**Katt:** Reverting to my primal instincts and killing hundreds. And Falco can't answer, he's still a banana.

**Timid:** Just peel it, already! I'm beginning to wish I hadn't done that now...

_The rather slimy fruit is peeled and Falco rejoins the conversation._

**Falco:** Being locked in the same room as HER when she's on PMT!!! _Points at Timid._

**Krystal:** A hoard of demons rampaging through a group of my closest friends.

**Fox:** Same as Krys.

**Miyu:** Being dropped in the middle of "The Happening".

**Panther:** ...M-mutant plushies...

**Jenna:** Pedophiles and rapists taking over the universe... _Shivers._

**Lucy:** Being in a room with THIS LOT when they're STARVING!

**Timid:** All of the people in the world dying, then coming back a zombies.

**Shadow:** OK, weird. To Timid: What gave you the idea that I'm going to kill of a character in my new fic? If anything, I'm gonna get you hooked on a new character thats ALREADY dead. Hint hint.

**Timid:** Nothing made me think you'd kill off a key character, I just wanted to warn you. Sorry.

**Shadow:** That's OK. To Jenna: What's your opinion on Timid's sudden obsession for me? Not the real me, the one that appears in fics.

**Jenna:** She stumbled across your work,she liked it, she likes the person you come across as, you were supportive. Simple as. Read some of her other stuff that Snake of the Rose reviewed. She had fan girls DROWNING HIM!!!

**Shadow:** Aww, why does he get to be drowned in fan girls?!? _Pouts._

**Timid:** Put it like this: he never got kissed by me.

**Shadow:** Good point. To everyone: If I were to be paired and have a relationship with any of the girls in this room, which one would you find to be the most believable?

**All except Timid and Shadow:** TIMID!!!

**Shadow:** Sweet! Last one. To everyone: I have 20 armed nuclear warheads aimed at Corneria. _Presses a button and a screen pops out of nowhere and shows that this is true._ I will fire them unless you give me... _Does the pinky finger thing that Dr. Evil does in Austin Powers._ ...one hundred billion credits!

**Timid:** I'll give you a kiss AND drown you in fan girls next time if you make it a hundred thousand.

**Shadow:**Hmm... DEAL.

_The rest of the furies pay up and Timid snogs Shadow._

**Shadow:** Thanks. Keep impressing me!

_Shadow walks out the door. Timid places her hands together and exhales. After a few seconds of nothing happening, a small rip in time and space forms and WhisperingZelphyr lands on his feet._

**WZ:** Hi! OK, first off... _Takes out blowgun and shoots Jenna in the neck with caffeine-filled dart._

_Jenna's eyes go hazy and 10 seconds later the door slams twice, Jenna snogs WZ on the lips, then starts bouncing on the spot._

**Jenna:** Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou... _Blurs. Door slams again._

**Timid:** I think you gave her an overdose...

**Lucy:** She'll be on high for AGES now. And she does CRAZY things on a caffeine high.

**WZ:** OK then, first question. Bill and Fay: Did you two sniff each other when you first met, like dogs do?

**Bill and Fay:** NO!!!

**Bill:** We're not house pets!

**Fay:** Or street dogs!

**WZ:** OK, OK! Sorry! SHEESH!!! Timid: Tell me more about this Shadow Realm... and if I can buy a timeshare there. ^_^

**Timid:** You need a new jade or a sapphire that's been blessed by Lord Fate to even have the POWER to control the Shadow Realm, then you need a lot of training to control it properly.

**WZ:** Um... OK... That's about all I can come up with for now. I'll try to think up some new stuff for next time, but until then, keep up the quirky humor, it's fantastic, and as always, Keep on truckin'.

_WZ leave, vaguely shaky, gibbering slightly. Jenna walks in, bags under her eyes, yawns and curls up under the table._

**Jenna:** Mmm...

**Timid:** OK then... that's 27 questions this time. YAY! 270 credits! We can keep the room! _Does a funky dance._

**Lucy:** Let's wrap it up then!

**Timid:** OK then, ahem. ATTENTION EVERYONE!!! NEXT INTERVIEW, WE WILL BE JOINED BY THEYA MONROE!!! THAT IS IT!!!

**Jenna:** _Murmuring in her sleep._ Bye byes...


	5. Chapter 5

_Timid and all the previous guests are sat around the table, along with another female. She is a black feline (old enough to be Katt's mother) with some white fur and silver eyes. She's wearing a gray jump-suit, a gray bandanna and a pink neckerchief. Her name is Theya Monroe, and she isn't happy._

**Theya:** You mean NO ONE asked me any questions AT ALL!!!

**Timid:** Sorry Theya, but please stay. You'll be good for comic relief, and people might ask you some questions for next time.

**Katt:** Please, mom.

**Theya:** _Sighs._ Alright then.

_Suddenly, the door bursts open and ShadowFox0324 runs in with a laser-saw._

**SF0324:** OY! I AM NOT A DICKWEED!!! I'M A CRAZY ASSED SON OF A BITCH!!!

**Timid:** Then what's with the laser-saw?

**SF0324:** To impale those who piss me off.

**Theya:** _Turns to Timid._ Is this as stupid as it gets, or does it get worse?

**Timid:** It gets worse.

**SF0324:** To All (Except Jenna): On a scale of 1-10, how crazy has Janna been on caffeine?

**Theya:** I haven't got a clue.

**Everyone but Theya and Lucy:** About 8 or 9.

**Lucy:** DEFINITELY a 10, if not 11.

**SF0324:** To Jenna: Same question.

**Jenna:** It's all a blur, man!

**SF0324:** OK, next question. To Timid: Do I want to know u turned Falco into a natural vibrator? (Something tells me I don't wanna know)

**Timid:** It was funny!

**SF0324: **Thats all I got. Now I got more crap to do (Like start on my review fic) _He walks out, closing the door behind him._

_Timid places her hands on the wall next to the door and exhaled. A door, darker than the dark in the room, materializes in the wall._

**Timid:** This is a Shadow Door. It's like that hole in time and space, but people are guaranteed NOT to fall through onto their arse.

**Krystal:** Wow. Where'd you learn that?

**Timid:** Night classes.

_She turns the handle, revealing shadow shinobi57._

**Timid:** Hi Shadow.

**Shadow:** Hi Timid. First off: To Fox: I didn't do it! I didn't do it! The vase broke! See? _throws it at Krystal. It breaks and knocks her out._

**Fox:** NOOOOO! KRYSTAL!!!

**Timid:** She's still alive, dufus! _Clicks her fingers. A small hole in time and space forms, dropping cold water onto the KO ed Krystal, who splutters and sits up._

**Krystal:** Owie.

**Shadow:** To Katt: Ha ha! I made Falco call you a bitch in "Malice and Desperation". Nothing personal. You two are broken up in it.

**Katt:** Oh well, I don't care. I've been called worse.

**Falco:** I'LL KILL YOU!!!

**Timid:** NO YOU WON'T!!!

**Katt:** Falco, don't! It's not worth it! You know she has shadow powers. And you saw what happened to Slippy in chapter 3!

**Timid:** Actually, that was a Dark One disguised as Slippy. He's on honeymoon with Amanda.

**Everyone but Shadow:** Ahhhh.

**Shadow:** What's a Dark One?

**Timid:** Dark Ones are the evil denizens of the Shadow Realm. My enchanted crystal lets me tell them apart from the real thing.

**Shadow:**OK then, next question. To Jenna: Why is there BACON IN THE SOAP?!?!

**Jenna:** I dunno, do I?

**Timid:** CUZ U PUT IT THERE!!!

**Shadow:** CORRECT!!! Your prize: a kiss. _Pulls Timid into a passionate kiss that leaves her giggling like a hyper fan girl._ To Everyone: I just drank about three Amps and ate about twenty packages of sour patch kids. Anytime now...

_He pulls out 2 chainsaws, does a battle cry and runs around the room at blurring speeds. He ends up hitting into the wall and landing, face-first, between Timid's breasts. She blushes._

**Timid:** A-are you OK, Shadow?

**Shadow:** _Muffled by breasts._ Yeah. These things are really cushy, did you know that? _Gets his face out of Timid's cleavage._ To Miyu: I caught Panther at the Playboy mansion! See, here's the picture! _Holds up the picture._

**Miyu:** Panther, this'd better be before we got back together.

**Panther:** Yeah, that's Wolf's bachelor party.

**Theya:** Good Gods, what the HELL is that chameleon doing to that poor bunny?!?

**Fay:** I don't even WANNA know. _She dashes into the darkness. Noises like someone being sick float back to them._

**Miyu:** Panther, if I dressed up like a playboy bunny, would you do that to ME?

**Panther:** Only if you wanted me to...

**Miyu:** Well, I know what I'M wearing to bed tonight! _Squeezes Panther's dick, causing an erection._ Like the thought? Of course you do. Me in a tiny bikini and pink bunny ears. _Watches the erection get bigger._

**Theya:** I'd tell ya off, but I was like that with my husband before we had kids. Then again, I was just stealthier about it...

**Katt:** NO!!! STOP IT!!! NO MORE!!! NOOOOOOO!!!

**Timid:** Shadow, please, get them away from this subject, before Katt pulls out her own ear drums.

**Shadow:** OK, OK, next question. To all the girls: I have a new diamond necklace. First to grab it from me gets it. And no, I'm proposing to any of you.

**Theya:** YOINK! _She pulls the necklace effortlessly from his hand and fastened it round her neck._ Thank you.

**Shadow:** To all the guys: I have a Philly cheese steak foot long sandwich. If you can grab it from this table first, it's yours.

**Timid:** Stuff the guys, that thing is MINE! _Grabs the sandwich and tears it in half._ You want half, Shadow? I don't think I can finish it on my own...

**Shadow:** Sure.

_The 2 sit there, munching happily whilst receiving evil looks from the guys._

**Shadow:** _Mouth full. _To Timid: Do you only read Q&A fics if they are rated M? Cause you haven't really read mine or reviewed.

**Timid:** _Mouth also full._ Well, I have now. It's great! I would do that, but I think it would end up in this massive fight, y'know what I mean?

**Shadow:** _Swallows mouthful._ Yeah, I guess so. To Falco: I saw you make-out with an ICE-CREAM CONE! Strawberry, I might add.

**Timid:** _Mouth still full._ That would be my fault. Katt just turned up yesterday and said "Turn me into an ice-cream cone when Falco gets here, or I'll report you to the RSPCA!" So I did.

**Falco:** It was sweet!

**Katt:** It was fun, but it's too cold.

**Jenna:** How do you stop being an ice-cream cone, then?

**Falco:** I just had to turn her upside-down. She fell out after the ice-cream did.

**Timid:** In theory, it would have worked if you had eaten the ice-cream.

**Krystal:** Can everyone PLEASE stop saying ice-cream!!!

**Shadow:** That leads me nicely onto my next point. To Krystal: Why did you put a motion censor bomb in the cookie jar?! I want a cookie! Wait, I can just take it without getting hurt cause I'm that awesome! _Takes a cookie and gets chased down by Krystal._

**Krystal:** MY COOKIE!!!

**Fay:** Krystal, what's gotten into you!!!

**Jenna:** Probably a lot of cum.

**Krystal:** Oh my Gods... Shadow, I am SO sorry!

**Fox:** This isn't the first mood swing she's had this week...

**Theya:** Hmm... I reckon you should get a CAT scan at the hospital soon...

**Krystal:** Y-yeah. _Swallows._ I haven't been feeling like myself lately...

**Miyu:** Oh, my, Gods! You think she might be...

**Theya:** Yup!

**Fay:** Squeals_ in excitement._ Total coolness! Your...

**Krystal:** I guess I am...

**Jenna:** Can we just say it? We think she's pregnant, next question!

**Shadow:** Right. To Bill: Clean up the lotion bottles in your room why don'tcha? And get some clean pictures of Fay once in a while, they get STICKY!!

**Bill:** Fay, I-I-I can explain!!!

**Fay:** THAT'S why you don't mind me working over-time?!?

**Bill:** Y-yes Fay, it is.

**Fay:** Well, at least I know you're not bored. And I can give you some more pictures. I can get you a film too.

**Bill:** Um... Fluffy, now is neither the time nor the place to talk about that sorta thing...

**Shadow:** To Fay: Bill doesn't want you in a bathing suit when he takes a picture and gets giggity with it later. He wants you naked! WHO WOULDN'T?!?! You're hot enough to turn chicks lesbian!

**Fay:** Thank you. But the advice about the pictures? No. He takes the pictures himself, gets giggity over me at the same time. He'd NEVER take the damn things if I were naked!

**Bill:** Fluffy...

**Fay:** Sorry, Bill.

**Shadow:** To Panther: To most people, you speaking in third person is a joke. But to Miyu, it could be more. Have you ever used it as foreplay?

**Panther:** Once, when she was REALLY horny..

**Miyu:** Yeah... _Makes a horny "wrowr" noise._

**Shadow:** To Lucy: Your dad smells, I'll just say it now. Does he bath in asparagus?!

**Lucy:** Let's put it like this: My dad dresses up in my dead mother's clothes, most of which haven't been washed since she died. Why do YOU think he smells?

**Shadow:** To Timid: I've got three fics going. "Malice and Desperation", "Q&A Madness", and "Ninjas of Lylat". Will you please read them more?

**Timid:** I HAVE read them! Well, I'm not up to date on "Ninjas of Lylat", but I HAVE read them!

**Shadow:** That's all I got for now. Keep impressing me! _Gets up to leave._

**Timid:** WAIT! _Grabs his arm, stopping him. She blushes._ D-do you what to... to sit in for the rest of the interview?

**Shadow:** Well... sure, why not! _Sits back down._

_Jenna rolls her eyes and opens the shadow door, revealing Skatepunk172._

**Jenna:** Hey, Skate!

**Skate:** Hey Jen, hey, Timid! _He looks coldly at Shadow._ Hello shadow shinobi57...

**Timid:** Can we get on with the questions and stop dissing Shadow? He's cool!

**Skate:** OK, OK! First question, Timid: What is the furthest thing you'd do with Shadow?

**Timid:** Bearing in mind a) I'm under 16, and b) he's still here... Falling asleep on his shoulder, maybe stroke his abbs, if they're nice.

**Shadow:** Cool.

**Skate:** Jenna: I have some coffee beans. Want some?

**Jenna:** Please, oh yes please. _Takes the small amount of coffee beans and eats them, dry. She speeds out through the shadow door, then dashed back in, then out through the real door._

**Timid:** And we've lost her...

**Skate:** I'm not even gonna ask... But I'll ask this: Fox: Have you ever been brain-raped by Krystal's telepathy?

**Fox:** Once... I refused to have sex, she got mad... my head was suddenly with all SORTS of freaky sexual positions...

**Krystal:** Yeah... I had fun that night...

**Fox:** Surprisingly, so did I.

**Shadow:** MOVING ON NOW!!!

**Skate:** OK, OK. YEASH! Falco: Do you remember being a banana? If so, what was it like inside Katt's... wherever she put you?

_Falco grins evilly._

**Falco:** That's for ME to know, and YOU to be clueless about! _He is suddenly replaced by a cucumber._

**Katt:** How do we change him back without hurting him THIS time?!?

**Timid:** Just split it open. _Hands Katt the cucumber._ Here, go do dirty things to yourself.

_Katt goes rushing out the real door._

**Skate:** Krystal: I've never experienced telepathy before. Can you tap into my mind?

**Krystal:** Sure, why not. _Closes her eyes for a few seconds, then opens them, startled._ D-d-dirty boy!!! _Hides behind Fox, who cuddles her protectively._

**Skate:** Um, OK? Lucy: Why are rabbit ears so long?

**Lucy:** Genetics, DUH!

**Skate:** Fay: What is it like being the only notable female dog in the Star Fox series?

**Fay:** Pretty cool, but pretty lonely too.

**Skate:** Bill: Did you change breed from 64 to command?

**Bill:** Nah, just fur colour!

**Skate:** Miyu: Is Panther "high-maintenance"?

**Miyu:** Well... when we were first dating, back in high school, he had A.D.D when it came to girls. I had to do a lot to keep his attention on me. He's better now.

_Panther is currently trying to get a peek at Miyu's panties._

**Skate:** Panther: What makes you purr?

**Panther:** Here's a clue: you just asked her a question. _Grabs Miyu round the waist and holds her close._

**Skate:** And that's all I got. See ya next chapter!

_He leaves, via the shadow door. A blondish-brown wolf walks through._

**Timid:** Hi, Shaker!

**Shaky:** Hello, Timid.

**Timid:** Everyone, this is Shakespeare's entourage, otherwise known as Shaky

**Shaky:** Hi. To Timid: I really need help with writing Star Fox: instincts (sequel to beginnings end) can you help me from time to time?

**Timid:** Sure thing.

**Shaky:** Cool. _Sees a now exhausted Jenna enter and gives her a super caffeine cappuccino. Now on overdose, Jenna curls up under the table and falls asleep._ To Fox: how did you change your fur back to orange?!? I thought I changed your fur to gray forever!!!

**Fox:** That's in your story, not Timid's.

**Shaky:** DAMN! Oh well, to all: Who was your first kiss?

**Fox:** Fara Phoenix, but I was like 9 years old.

**Krystal:** Fox.

**Miyu:** Panther.

**Panther:** Miyu.

**Bill:** Fluffy Fay here.

**Fay:** Bill, of course.

**Timid:** Not saying, it's personal, and I'll never get hold of the guy to ask his permission to put him in the interview.

**Lucy:** Believe it or not, Wolf O'Donnell. And Jenna's first kiss was Christopher Stevens.

**Shaky:** OK then. Using my mysterious powers, I summon shadow shinobi57...

**Shadow:** No need, I'm right here.

**Shaky:** Oh, OK. I challenge you to a fight to the death for Timid's heart.

**Shadow:** OK. _Takes up fighting stance._

**Timid:** NO! _Quickly slaps Shaky and wraps her arms around Shadows waist._ I won't let Shadow get hurt by you!!!

**Shaky:** Ow... _Exits through the shadow door, nursing an injured cheek and an injured pride._

**Timid:** Oh, um... _Unwraps her arms from Shadow's waist._ S-sorry about that... _Rushes out of the real door, blushing like mad._

**Bill:** Great! Whose gonna wrap this up then???

**Shadow:** Well, I gotta go, but I elect... _Points at Lucy_ ...you!

**Lucy:** Who, me?

**Shadow:** Yes you.

**Lucy:** Couldn't be.

**Shadow:** Then who?

**All:** Who stole the cookies from the... cookie jar?

**Shadow:** Argh! Just wrap this thing up, Lucy! _Exits via shadow door._

**Lucy:** Oh... OK then... Ahem. WE WILL NOT BE BRINGING IN ANY MORE CHARACTERS UNTILL WE GET A SUTABLE AMOUNT OF QUESTIONS FOR THEYA!!! I think that just about covers it, but I don't feel I should be saying the next bit...

**Jenna:** Quite_ drowsy after just waking up._ Bye byes... _Falls back asleep._


	6. Chapter 6

_The room is completely dark. In the darkness, voices can be heard._

**Voice 1:** This is lame! Where are we?

_Voice 1 sounds like a young female. There is the rustle of feathers._

**Timid:** This is my interview room. I haven't set it up yet. Who are you?

**Voice 2:** Please excuse my young friend. We're here to warn you.

_Voice 2 also sounds female, but slightly older. More feathers rustle._

**Timid:** Of what?

**Voice 1:** Of something dangerous, DUH!

**Timid:** But what of?

**Voice 2:** We can't tell you!!! All you need to know is we're on your side.

**Timid:** Can't you at least give me a CLUE about this danger?

**Voice 1:** No, cuz you'll do something stupid and make LOADS of work for us.

**Voice 2:** That's enough! We have to go.

**Timid:** Oh no, not before I see who you are!!!

_Feathers ruffle, wings flap, then a match flares. Timid is stood there, alone, with the shadow door open. She lights the candles, then closes the door._

**Timid:** Hmm... (Who were they? I didn't recognise the voices...)

_Then, everyone else enters. They're in a good mood, so Timid brightens up._

**Timid:** Alright everyone, let's get this show on the road!

_The shadow door opens, revealing Shadow._

**Shadow:** Hey cutie...

**timid:** _Blushes._ Oh Shadow, you sweet-talker... _Kisses him briefly._

**Shadow:** Mm, blackcurrant... First question! To Timid: Honestly, what is Shaky's problem? It seems a little sad...I mean, he wants to defeat me for your love, and I...well, sort of had to do nothing...If you consider anything to actually count, that is. But why destroy me? Am I really that much of a threat? Wait, yes. Just try and talk sense into him.

**Timid:** He's just sad... HE'S TURNED WOLF AND LEON GAY WITH EACH OTHER!!!

**Shadow:** What?!? _Starts laughing hard._ HAHAHA Aw man, HAHAHA it would take a gay-tard like him, HAHAHA...

**Jenna:** I'm not gonna talk to him.

**Theya:** Why not.

**Jenna:** a) He turned Wolf gay, and Wolf has lush abs, and b) He thinks I hang out at Costa Coffee! That place is too damned expensive!!!

**Shadow:** HAHAHAAH... To Theya: Yo! ...Awkward. Why do you think no one is asking you questions? Your opinion matters.

**Theya:** It's because no one knows who I am. I'm OK with it. I'm a... What was it again, Timid?

**Timid:** You're an OC. You aren't part of any Star Fox merchandise, be it released or cancelled.

**Theya:** Yeah, I'm one of them.

**Shadow:** To Theya: So, since everyone here is with someone else, _He glances at Timid for a split second and clears his throat._ who are you with? This may have been answered earlier but I forgot or didn't catch it.

**Theya:** My husband died when Katt was 8. I still wear the rings. _Shows everyone her left hand. Sure enough, there is a silver engagement ring with a ring of small rubies on it, along with a plain silver band._ I'm not dating anyone because a) I'll probably meet up with my husband when I die, and b) I caught Katt trying to shove the one guy I attempted to date into the Playboy mansion. She had her camera with her.

**Fay:** How old was she?

**Theya:** 11.

_Katt gets some weird looks._

**Katt:** Hey, I was a kid!

**Shadow:** To Fay, Miyu, Timid, Jenna, and Theya: Who wants a cameo in Malice and Desperation?

**Fay, Miyu, Timid and Jenna:** ME!

**Fay:** Just get me and Bill together, please!

**Miyu:** I'd like to be a drummer. I look the part...

**Timid:** Put me as the cheerful room service girl! _Blushes._ ...Please?

**Jenna:** I'd like to be Fox's unknown Academy friend who keeps trying to get him to ask Krystal on a date!

**Theya:** Just make me Katt's mother who tries to get Katt and Falco back together.

**Shadow:** OK. To Panther and Miyu: I just read Forbidden Lynx all the way through, and I think you guys were great in it. I just wanted to take the time to let you know.

**Miyu:** Aww, thanks. I had fun making that one.

**Panther:** Me too. I especially liked how we got to make out in a hospital bed... _Makes a horny cat noise and starts licking at her neck._

**Miyu:** Heh heh, Panther, not here. Wait until we get home...

**Shadow:** To Fox: Does Krystal's telepathy ever increase the pleasure of love making? If so, in what ways?

**Fox:** It links our feelings, so we feel twice as much pleasure! _Looks crestfallen._ Not that that matters right now...

**All but Fox and Krystal:** Huh?

**Krystal:** Turns out I'm pregnant.

**Bill:** Congratulations, Fox, your gonna be a dad!

**Katt:** When's it due?

**Fox:** Doctors didn't give an exact date, but they said sometime late July, early August.

**Shadow:** To Krystal: Can your telepathy stimulate certain 'bodily reactions', if you catch my drift?

**Krystal:** Sometimes... (What the hell is he talking about?!?)

**Shadow:** To Katt: Do you ever feel angry at the authors who write fics where you and Falco are broken up? ...Little awkward, I having two in the making with such a side theme...

**Katt:** It's a bit annoying, but I read them when I'm mad at Falco. Malice and Desperation is especially good for calming me down.

**Shadow:** Good to know I'm helping. To...myself: Must you always ask questions about your fics? Yes, why? Well, it's getting old. But I like knowing what people think about it. Shut up and get me sandwich! Forget it! I'm getting myself a sandwich! _Sees strange looks from everyone but Timid._ ...Sorry, I rarely talk to myself.

**Timid:** That's OK. Here. _Hands him a HUGE sandwich._ It's ham with a smear of mustard.

**Shadow:** Thanks. _Starts eating. His mouth is full as he starts talking again._ To Timid: Don't get creeped out by the thing above. I'm just weird like that sometimes. Aren't we all? I mean, look at Jenna.

**Jenna:** Hey, don't lump me with you weirdos!

**Timid:** We're all weird, Jenna, because we're all unique. Hmm, that sounds quite good. And don't worry, Shadow, I hang around with a girl that lost her sanity in her mother's womb. That is nothing new.

**Shadow:** Alright then... _Swallows the last mouthful of sandwich._ Good sandwich. Keep impressing me! _Turns to leave when Timid grabs his wrist._ You want me to stay?

**Timid:** Please?

**Shadow:** OK then. _Sits down._

_The shadow door opens, revealing Skate._

**Skate:** Hi people!

**Jenna:** Hey, Skate!

**Skate:** Timid: Get Shadow to update his Q&A, will you? I'm starting to get impatient.

**Timid:** I don't control Shadow.

**Shadow:** Yeah, She doesn't control me, she just influences me!

**Skate:** Jenna: Is there ever a time when you're caffeine free?

**Jenna:** Occasionally. Last time, I gave Panther that scar on his cheek. I don't really remember it that well...

**Skate:** Kinda odd, but I'll go with it. Fox: Have you ever been shot (on foot, no armour) by an Arwing or Wolfen?

**Fox:** No! How stupid do you think I am?!?

**Skate: **Sorry. Falco: Have you lost your beak before?

**Falco:** Dude, this isn't a cartoon.

**Skate:** Sorry! Theya: 2 questions: a)Were you ever a pilot? b) Were you as good looking as Katt when you were younger?

**Theya:** Well, a) I'm STILL a pilot, and b) I looked almost exactly like Katt, except I had black hair and silver eyes. All that's changed is, what WAS pink is NOW black.

**Katt:** And you're a bit older.

**Theya:** That's true.

**Skate:** Katt: _Shrinks Falco and wraps him with duct tape._ Have fun!

**Katt:** Thank you! _Dashes out the real door with Falco._

**Skate:** Miyu: When was the last time you "went on hiatus"?

**Miyu:** About 6 months ago. I have a question for you, Skate.

**Skate:** Shoot.

**Miyu:** Do you even know what hiatus means?

**Skate:** ... Fay: Do you bark like a dog sometimes?

**Fay:** Sometimes. Especially when I'm frightened, frustrated, or... aroused... _Winks seductively at Bill. He winks back._

**Skate:** Bill: Same as Fay.

**Bill:** And I've got nothing to add to Fluffy's answer... _Kisses Fay passionately. They end up on the table with no shirts left._

**Shadow:** Aw man, and I thought I was bad...

**Bill:** Sorry.

_Both canines put their shirts back on and sit back down._

**Skate:** Panther: What was the most fucked up thing that happened to Star Wolf?

**Panther:** One employer locked me in his bedroom and attempted to rape me. Sad thing was, his dick was tiny and he ate about 2 packs of Viagra. The only thing that saved me was him loosing his erection.

**Miyu:** How long did THAT take?!?

**Panther:** About 5 minuets.

**Timid:** So sad...

**Shadow:** I last longer than that.

**Skate:** Yeah right. Lucy: What was the most fucked up thing that happened in one of your astrophysics classes?

**Lucy:** Well... 1 of the model spaceships went missing, and one of the students was missing too, so I went looking for them. BIG mistake! They were masturbating with it.

**Miyu:** Didn't she have any shame?!?

**Lucy:** It... wasn't a girl...

**All:** EEWW!!!

**Skate:** That's not right... Timid: Can you travel through time? If so, here's 10 credits. Get me some Coca-Cola from the 1800s.

**Timid:** Sorry, I can't...

**Skate:** DANGIT! Anyone: Stole 10 pounds of cocaine from General Pepper. Who wants it?

**Jenna:** Um, Skate...

**Lucy:** That's SUGAR, dickweed!

**Skate:** DANGIT!!! Krystal: Who has a dirtier mind than me?

**Krystal:** I think... _Closes her eyes for a second, then opened them again._ No one, but Shadow's is giving you a run for your money.

**Timid:** What are you thinking about, Shadow?

**Shadow:** Um, I'm trying to guess what size bra Timid wears.

**Krystal:** And guessing WAY too big in the cup. He also...

**Timid:** PLEASE! Stop right there.

**Skate:** OK, that's all I have. Bye.

**Jenna:** Oi, wait. _Grabs Skate and kisses him. Hard._ Thanks for the coffee beans last time.

**Skate:** Y-your welcome. _Staggers out the shadow door. SF0324 enters a moment later, looking back over his shoulder._

**SF0324:** ...Well...That was random. Anyway. To the cast: Are aware that none of you are real? Or are you?

**Timid:** Stop it, else I shall use my A.A.P to send you to the Shadow Realm!!!

**Fox:** A.A.P?

**Jenna:** Awesome Author Powers. I shortened it.

**SF0324:** OK then. Another thing: I've got about 6 dump trucks full of candy and other things *Cough Heavy Ordnance Cough* But mostly candy and coffee.

_Jenna is suddenly behind him, holding a gun to his head._

**Jenna:** Gimmie the keys.

_SF0324 hands over the keys. The next 15 minuets were spent getting everything in and on the table._

**SF0324:** Phew, that was hard work. Next question. To Fox: What are you doing for Thanksgiving...besides the obvious I mean.

**Fox:** Nothing much, just planning on spending the day with Krystal.

**Krystal:** Yeah, he's gonna stay in and binge eat with me.

**SF0324:** OK then. To Theya: Who's Katt's dad?

**Theya:** His name was Echon Monroe. A white feline with blue eyes. Think of him as a bit like Falco, only nicer.

**Jenna:** You are SO lucky Falco isn't here to hear that...

**SF0324:** To Timid and Jenna: If you could be any animal in the world what would it be?

**Timid:** HELLO!!! I have used my A.A.P to be a vixen, thicko! Of course I want to be one!

**Jenna:** I'm happy as I am.

**S0324:** To everyone: What's the best weapon in Star Fox Assault?

**All:** Too... Much... Choice...

**SF0324:** OK then, To Timid: What's the UK like?

**Timid:** Well, the government DEFINATELY needs to change, y'know, the value of the pound is going down like crazy, but other than that, it's OK.

**SF0324:** OK, that's all I've got for now. Bye.

_He leaves through the shadow door. A few seconds later, KKK enters._

**KKK:** Hi, people. To All: Should I make my Q & A fic right now or wait until I finish Krisis?

**Timid:** It's completely up to you.

**All:** Yeah.

**KKK:** OK. To Krystal: What's your bust size?

**Krystal:** None of your business! But I'll tell you this: I'm a D cup.

**KKK:** To Fox: What size (you know)...do you use for those "special" moments with Krystal?

**Fox:** We don't use condoms. We use birth control pills.

**Shadow:** Didn't really work last time, did it?

**Krystal:** No, we were too excited to wait.

**KKK:** To Panther: You know that old show Pink Panther? Well what would you say to your fur being pink?

**Panther:** I would hide from the entire world.

**KKK:** To Fox: If Krystal got trapped in a crystal naked would you try and save her or just let her be?

**Fox:** Sure I would, I just woulda had an even bigger stiffy. And the relationship would have gone a lot faster than it did.

**Jenna:** And Peppy wouldn't have gotten through to him. Little less than a sudden explosion behind him would have gotten him out of a world of dirty fantasies.

**KKK:** To Timid: What do you think so far on my story Krisis?

**Timid:** Um...

**KKK:** To Timid: Did you even read my story?

**Timid:** Erm...

**KKK:** To Timid: Did you even know I had a story?

**Timid:** I do now...

**KKK:** To Timid: did you even know I existed?

**Timid:** Well DUH!!! You reviewed me!

**KKK:** To Timid: Why do you hate me so?

**Timid:** I don't hate you! Why do you think I do?

**KKK:** BYE BYE! LUV YOU ALL!!!

_She leaves via the shadow door, and BigDragun987 walks in._

**BG987:** Hi. Hey I am new to these Q & A fics but i have blasted through yours and Shadow Shinobi's and had to get in on da action. To Timid: Curse you for putting such a old joke on your profile that I still fell for. You keep fooling me and I will breath fire on you.

**Timid:** Sorry!

**BG987:** It's OK. To Fox: I know Krystal's telepathy can be great at times but its gotta have a downside. How does that telepathy play out when "Aunt Floe's" in town?

**Fox:** It sucks, 'cause when she's in a bad mood, she plants it in MY mind. It REALLY gets me down.

**BG987:** To Bill: What was Fox like in the Cornerian Flight Academy?

**Bill:** He was pretty much like he is now, except he didn't have Krystal.

**BG987:** To Theya: What was Katt like as a kid? As a teenager? (Always room for hilariously embarrassing child moments)

**Theya:** She was pretty alright as a teenager. Nights in would deteriorate into popcorn wars.

**Katt:** Hi everyone!

**Falco:** We're back. _He suddenly turns into a tomato._

**Theya:** And when she was a kid, she was... mischief.

**Katt:** I was not!

**Theya:** You were!

**Katt:** I was NOT!

**Theya:** Katt, you tied a guy to the top of a flagpole because he took the last choco-pop when you were 9!!!

**Katt:** Mom, I was addicted to those things.

**Theya:** You still are, just not as badly.

**BG987:** To Entire Cast: Which one of you guys has the highest temper?

**All:** Depends on circumstances.

**BG987:** To Panther: What made you to become so uncensored about life?

**Panther:** Huh? Uncensored? Um.. I dunno...

**Miyu:** Don't bother Panther. He's a reader. They're crazy.

**BG987:** GRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrr...

**Miyu:** Sorry!

**BG987:** I suppose that's OK... To Entire Cast (Who it Applies to): What was your first time like? You know what I mean.

**All but Timid and Shadow:** That's none of your business.

**Timid and Shadow:** I'm too young. HEY! Stop saying the same thing as I do! I said stop it!

**BG987:** To Entire Cast: What's the best use for hand-cuffs?

**Timid:** Something too dirty to put up here.

_Everyone else mumbles something erotic. I'll leave it up to your imaginations._

**BG987:** Alright, see ya later.

_He leaves through the shadow door. A dead man walking enters through the door. Both Timid and Shadow jump him with swords, axes and rasengans. When their finished with him, he'd been pinned to a giant dart board with various sharp weapons._

**Shaky:** What was the point of that?!?

**Shadow:** You locked me in a box! TWICE!

**Timid:** And you suggested that I would take part in under-age sexual acts. That, and you don't use capitals in the appropriate places. That means more work for me!

**Shaky:** SCREW YOU! _Ducks his head down as Shadow chucks another rasengan at him._ OK, I'll get started, before this becomes a health risk for me. Theya: Who is your love interest?

**Theya:** I've already answered that, idiot.

**Shaky:** Have you? Damn it! OK then, Lucy: Who are you? I may have written a star fox fanfic but I have little star fox knowledge.

**Lucy:** I'm Peppy's daughter!!! I thought EVERYONE knew that!

**Shaky:** All: Which animal would you use describe your partner in the bedroom?

**All but Shadow, Timid and Jenna:** The animal that they are!!!

**Shadow and Timid:** Hello? Under-age here!!!

**Jenna:** No partner. At the moment. And no, I wont have sex with you.

**Shaky: **All: Estimate the size of tyre I could make from the number of condoms you and your partners have used? This includes femidoms, has anyone used those?

**All but Shadow, Timid and Jenna:** We use the pill.

**Shaky:** Fox: What is your favourite vehicle?

**Fox:** Motorbike. Has to be. Because the sexual innuendo list for that goes on for AGES!

**Krystal:** But we do have a car. A 4-seater.

**Shaky:** Can I go now?

**Timid:** No. You shall be tortured by Shadow. _Opens a shadow portal which pulls Shaky in and closes._ And that will happen later.

_Twisted wanders through the shadow door._

**Twisted:** Hiya! Got a question for Katt: If Falco got her pregnant, would she lay an egg?

**Falco:** Nah, we don't lay eggs. Just the non-anthros.

**Twisted:** That's all I got. Just one thing. _He leaps Jenna, kissing her hard._ See ya. _Leaves through the shadow door. Through that same door enters Adam._

**Adam:** One, single question for now... To everyone: I have X-ray vision, I can see through clothes. _Looks at every female except Timid_ ... Well, I'm going to draw pictures of you and sell them on ebay. Now, everyone, why do you think I didn't look at Timid?_Hides 'I support TimidxShadow' Sticker-_

**Timid:** Because I'm not pretty enough?

**All but Timid and Shadow:** Because Shadow and Timid make SUCH a cute couple!

**Adam:** And that's me done. _Leaves through the shadow door._

**Timid:** And that's it. Please, Velk, if you want me to answer your questions, please make your layout clearer.

**Shadow:** I'm gonna go torture Shaky now, Hun.

**Timid:** Sure thing, Sweetie. _They kiss, passionately for a moment, then Timid opens the shadow portal, which Shadow walks through._ See ya people, I'm too tired to think of anyone else to invite to the interview. So from all of us,

**All:** Bye byes!


	7. Chapter 7

**Timid:** Hi hi! We're BA-ACK!!!

**Jenna:** Gods help us... she's hyper...

**Timid:** SHUT IT!!! Shadow could easily replace you as my co-host...

**Jenna:** MEEP! ...I'll be good...

**Timid:** You better be... First up is Krys!

_Krys runs in and gets Timid in a firm, painful embrace. Or at least tries. She ends up going head over heals, because a piece of soap was suddenly in her path._

**Krys:** ARGH! YOU DIDN'T KNOW I HAD A STORY?!

**Timid:** ...sorry...

**Krys:** OH well...I can't expect everyone to know...BUT SHADOW KNOWS!

**Timid:** He doesn't tell me EVERYTHING!!!

**Krys:** Oh, really? OK then, best wishes.

_Krys returns from where she came from. SF0324 bursts in with a flame-thrower, looking angry._

**SF0324:** ALRIGHT! I AM PISSED! NO-ONE HOLDS ME AT GUN POINT AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!!! That's MY job! _He points the flame-thrower at Jenna._

**Jenna:** Sorry, it's what I do too.

**SF0324:** Oh, alright then. Timid: Can I be a bouncer for the fic? I got Writers block right now and I need cash to pay for my area to place the new Q&A fic "Shadow's War Room". So can we work something out?

**Timid:** Yeah. You can gag and bound Shakespeare's Entourage when he gets here. I want him injured, not dead. That right is mine and mine alone.

**SF0324:** Yeah, what the fuck is Shaky's problem? Doesn't he know a good relationship when he sees one? I should laser saw that guy. And if you're wondering no I don't use lethal force unless you say so. _Whispering_ Or if I'm just ticked that day.

**Timid:** He's just this kid with a brick instead of a brain

**SF0324:** Oh, OK. To the cast: Later my fuzzy friends. I support the Timid X Shadow. GO SUGAR!

**Timid:** WAIT! You're here to catch Shaky, remember? I'll pay you 100 credits – in cash – for every capture you make for me.

**SF0324:** Fine then. _He goes and sits by the wall next to both the doors._

**Timid:** And now, our favourite ninja-author, Shadow!!!

_Shadow walks through the shadow door. Everyone claps and cheers._

**Shadow:** Hey, thanks! Y'know, I think yours is the one I always look forward to. But inviting you in my show makes everyone wanna come! ARGH!

**Timid:** Thanks. And I'm sorry. _She kisses him sweetly._

**Shadow:** To everyone: Just so we're clear, you guys know I'm human, right?

**All:** Yeah, duh!

**Shadow:** Oh. 'Kay. To Fay: I know you're gonna hurt me for this. Bill can't be with you in the story, 'cause he's flirting with Rebecca Stillfire.

**Fay:** Oh... well, can I try to kill Rebecca Stillfire?

**Shadow:** I'll get back to you on that. To Miyu: ...Maybe. I'm sure I could work it somewhere. 'Cause a whole bunch of bands will come and one could lose their drummer. How 'bout that? Sadly, no Panther. He's not in it.

**Miyu:** It's cool. Fire away.

**Shadow:** To Timid: I'm completely sure I could work you in there. I'll just need you to think of a name; I may have you ask Fox for an autograph. Plus, I may have to describe how you look, so PM me with what you want. 'Kay?

**Timid:** Forget the PM. Have my name as Timarad Vulpine, but no-one can remember that, so they all call me Timid. As for the appearance, just have me look like I do in this. But give me black boots. I have some on now. And make me shy, but somehow still outgoing.

**Shadow:** OK. To Jenna: ...Don't know how that would work, sorry. Maybe you could give me another idea?

**Jenna:** Could I be another ghost then?

**Shadow:** Hmm... might work. To Theya: I don't know... 'Cause the surprise will be good. I'll have you talk with her on the phone. 'Kay?

**Theya:** I've read it, it's good.

**Shadow:** OK. To Krystal: What I meant was does it stimulate the parts of the body that cause (man, I hope I don't get killed for this) **.

**Krystal:** I don't know, they censored the last word.

**Katt:** Try using symbols next time.

**Shadow:** Well that sucks. To Timid: BTW, I now have a Zanpaktou from Bleach. It's a sword that's as tall as I am and the side of the blade is about as long as the front cover of a dictionary. I am now surpassing the powers of other authors with my own. Prodigious.

**Timid:** AWSOME!!!

**Shadow:** To Krystal and Fox: Congratulations again, might I say.

**Krystal:** Thanks.

**Fox:** It's not been easy.

**Krystal:** Just wait until Febuary...

**Shadow:** To Timid: _whispers_ Is that going to happen in a fic?

**Timid:** _Whispers_ One day, in the distant future. We're on a separate time line in this.

**Shadow:** Cool. To Falco: ... ... ... ... You got kicked in the crotch by Katt. Ha ha.

**Falco:** ...I hate you.

**Shadow:** To Everyone: Keep impressing me! And I'll see what I can do about your cameo, girls!

**Timid:** NO! Don't go, please! _She attaches herself to his arm._ ...please?

**Shadow:** OK, OK, I'll stay.

**Timid:** YAY!!!

_Adam comes in, but is stopped and searched by SF0324._

**Adam:** HEY! I had my own entrance!!!

**Timid and SF0324:** Sorry.

_Adam leaves in a huff. He suddenly appears from shadow door, collapsing onto the ground. He l__ooks up at Timid, quickly standing and dusting himself off. _

**Adam:** Alright, more questions... To Fox: What would you do if you exploded into flames? _Hides gasoline and matches behind his back._

**Fox:** I'd run around like a headless chicken for a bit, then I'd stop, drop and roll.

**Adam:** To Krystal: Sure, Fox is fine 'n dandy, but you could get someone so much better.

**Krystal:** No way! I'm carrying his kid now, it's a forever thing!

**Adam:** Kidding! To Jenna: Oi, Jenna. I bought you your own Starbucks. Go crazy. All on me. _Nods slowly._

**Jenna:** You're staying the nigh at my place tonight.

**Adam:** SCORE! To Shadow: You are SO lucky... _Motions eyes towards Timid._

**Shadow:** Yeah, she's a great girlfriend. _He starts making out with her._

**Adam:** To Shadow: _Whispering_ Tell me if you want me to write poetry for her, and put your name on it.

**Jenna:** I don't think he's listening...

**Adam:** To Katt: ...I always thought you'd get together with Panther...

**Katt:** EWW!!! No way!

**Panther:** What's wrong with me?

**Miyu:** I don't think there's ANYTHING wrong with you.

**Adam:** To all: Name the your worst fear... If already answered, sorry.

**All:** NO WAY!

**Adam:** To Fox: If I kidnapped Krystal, what would you do?

**Fox:** I would hunt you down, rescue Krystal, then kill you.

**Adam:** To Shadow: Same for you, but for Timid?

**Shadow:** Pretty much the same, but I'd let Timid help me kill you.

**Adam:** To Timid: Same for you, but for Jenna?

**Timid:** Jenna's a bit like Terry Pratchett's Nac Mac Feegles. She can get in and out of almost anywhere. Except coffee shops. She finds it very hard to get out of coffee shops.

**Jenna:** Damn strait!!!

**Adam:** To Jenna: You know, that 'Skate' guy is lucky...

**Jenna:** YOU'RE gonna get lucky tonight. _She winks seductively._

**Adam:** Um, er... To a cookie: _Eats_. To all: See you. _Walks out door, tossing the keys to a coffee bean factory to Jenna and winking suddenly, before fading away into a random dark portal on the ground._

**Jenna:** He'd better be at my place for 9pm.

_Twisted is suddenly just THERE, no SFX, he just suddenly pops up._

**Twisted:** Thanks for including me. I like this fic, and I'll send in some questions when I can-oh wait I got one: Falco, 'cuz you're a bird, can you use your arms to fly?

**Falco:** Um... I don't THINK so... _He's suddenly a carrot._

**Jenna:** Uh, buh, wuh, WHY?!?

**Timid:** Because I felt like it.

**Twisted:** See ya! _He suddenly disappears._

**Theya:** How the HELL did he do that?!?

_Skate walks through a wall._

**Miyu:** I'm more concerned in how HE did THAT!

**Skate:** Excellent chapter! I'm in the middle of making a Smash Bros. Q & A. It would be my first story in 3 years. Timid: HA Shaky got you laid! What do you think of that?

**Timid:** I'm gonna KILL him.

**Skate:** Um, OK... Jenna: Everyone seems to enjoy giving you something with caffeine in it. Why do you think that is?

**Jenna:** Cuz of my reaction, DUH!

**Skate:** Fox: Do you penetrate Krystal with your tail sometimes? If so, do you use your cock and tail in both holes?

**Fox:** Sometimes. It's fun.

**Krystal:** I'll say...

**Skate:** Falco: Do you have any feeling in your beak?

**Timid:** He's currently a carrot. Ask again next time.

**Skate:** Krystal: Panther and Shadow both seem to enjoy perving on you. What do you think of that?

**Krystal:** They're wasting their time. Fox is my one and only.

**Skate:** Katt: Do you use your tail to masturbate?

**Katt:** With all the long, thin objects Falco gets turned into, do you really think I NEED to?

**Skate:** Timid: You realize Shadow loves you but just likes to be a furry, right?

**Timid:** I don't give two shits, honestly.

**Skate:** Just asking! Theya: Very few people have asked you a perverted question, so allow me: what's your favourite position?

**Theya:** It's been a while, so let me think and I'll get back to you.

**Skate:** Fay: Do you lick yourself like dogs do?

**Fay:** Nah, I leave that to Bill. _She leans on Bill's shoulder._

**Skate:** Leads nicely onto the next question. Bill: What was your most dangerous mission?

**Bill:** Probably getting Fay to let me go back when they cancel leave.

**Skate:** Everyone who is a pilot: What did General Pepper do that pissed you off the most?

**All but Timid, Shadow and Theya:** All the sudden call-outs!!!

**Theya:** Giving me no jobs for 7 years, then sending me on an envoy mission!

**Skate:** Lucy: Do you think Wolf O'Donnell is handsome?

**Lucy:** Not really...

**Jenna:** But he has nice muscles.

**Lucy:** Yeah, I'll give him that.

**Skate:** Miyu: Are you sad that SF2 got cancelled?

**Miyu:** A little. But I'm cool with it. Nintendo WILL want me someday.

**Skate:** SURE they will... Panther: Remember when your favourite café got totalled in SFA? What was it?

**Panther:** Um... _He blushes._ The place I took Miyu on our first date...

**Miyu:** Aww, so sweet... _Kisses him passionately._

**Skate:** Panther: I read Forbidden Lynx. Did a café worker suit you well?

**Panther:** Yeah, I guess. Hating the rat was a nice touch.

**Skate:** Timid: You are very good at writing stories for any category.

**Timid:** Thanks. I'm kinda working on a Metroid Prime story on the side. It was my New Year's resolution. Please read.

**Skate:** Cool. Jenna: Do you like frappacinos? It's a coffee/slushie/milkshake mix.

**Jenna:** Hell yeah! It's coffee!

**Skate:** Timid and Jenna: How am I doing getting past the censors?

**Timid:** Quite well, actually...

**Jenna:** Better than Shadow...

**Shadow:** HEY!

**Skate:** Bye byes! ... oh, wait! That's your line!

**Timid:** Yes. Now be gone, before I make SF0324 gun-rape you!

**Skate:** MEEP! I'm going, I'm going! _Walks back through the wall._

**Katt:** How does he do that?

**Timid:** I dunno.

_Just then, Shakespeare's Entourage pokes his head round the corner._

**Shaky:** Hi there- _He's suddenly hanging upside-down by his ankles, courtesy of SF0324._

**SF0324:** One Shakespeare's Entourage, ready for torture.

**Timid:** Oh goody. _A black rag doll appears in her hands._ This is a Shadow Doll. It works like a voodoo doll, only it works better. _She grabs a lock of Shaky's hair and winds it round the doll's neck._ You may want to let go of him, SF.

_SF0324 does so, dropping Shaky on his head._

**Timid:** Thanks to Shadow, I can now do THIS!

_Her hands catch fire. So does Shaky. He starts screaming in tortured pain. Timid just watches. After some time, she let's the flames in her hands die. Shaky is now a charred skeleton, but the doll is unscathed. The skeleton crumbles and Timid unwinds the hair from the doll's neck before letting it fade._

**Shadow:** That was freaky... I like it!

**Timid:** That was fun.

_As Timid is speaking, a huge explosion occurs, filling the room with smoke. When it clears, Hakkyou appears to be the scorce of it all._

**Hakkyou:** What's Up? Shadow. _He nods._ Anyway, To Fox: You know, I always see you as a gay person. Don't know why, but it somehow fits perfectly into place. Kinda. Not really. Oh well.

**Fox:** Um... OK? _Gives Hakkyou a weird look and edges away._

**Hakkyou:** To Krystal: Kasuka!

**Krystal:** Wha?

**Hakkyou:** To Panther: Saseko. _He bursts out laughing_

**Panther:** Sad, strange little boy...

**Hakkyou:** To Wolf: Wait...He's not here... _He summons WOLF..._

_..._

_...It doesn't work._

**Hakkyou:** HAHAHAHA! I BROKE YOUR FANFIC, TIMID!! AHAHAHAHAHAHHAH- oh wait... it didn't work... To Timid: Oh yeah, at the end of this, I'm probably gonna throw a giant fireball at Shadow. Later! _He chucks a giant fireball at Shadow, who ducks out the way._ Best Regards, Hakkyou. _He chucks a handful of smoke pellets on the floor. When the smoke clears, he's gone. The shadow door slams._

**Shadow door:** Um... oh yeah. SLAM!!!

_I just said that!_

**Shadow door:** SCREW YOU, BITCH!!!

_Oh, just forget it... here's Velk._

**Velk:** To Timid do you want to throw boots at Fox or Shaky? please... thwack!

_HEY! That's MY job!_

**Velk:** Sorry.

**Timid:** No. But would you PLEASE put a capital letter at the beginning of my name?!?

**Velk:** OK. See ya.

_He's gone._

**Timid:** Would you stop that?!?

_Oh, alright._

* * *

AUTHOR'S INPUT: Hi hi,

Quick note here. Mr. Saw, I will get to you, but I have a bit of plot here. Sorry. Like I said, I WILL get to you.

And, for a) the sake of my sanity and b) for the speed of this Q&A, PLEASE think about grammar. Full stops at the end of sentences, capital letters at the beginning of sentences and names (and, for me, just after a colon (:)), any of this ring a bell? Sorry, but it helps.

OK, back to the Q&A!

* * *

_Back at the interview site, everyone is milling around, chatting happily. Suddenly, a huge, swirling vortex opens. A man with a grey afro, thick, shiny goggles and a lab coat jumps out._

**Gray afro dude:** BWAHAHAHA!!! I AM PROFESSOR INSANE!!! I am a mad scientist, here for a new test subject. The last one had to retire.

**SF0324:** Why?

**Prof. Insane:** Because he died. BWAHAHAHA WOMBAT SOUP WITH SQUIGGLES! And I pick YOU! _Points at Timid._

**Timid:** M-m-m-ME?!?

**Prof. Insane:** Yes, you, my little chirping slug!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!! _He grabs Timid and dashes for the portal._

**Timid:** SHADOW!!! HEEEEEEELLLLLLLP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! _They disappears through the portal, which promptly closes._

**Shadow:** TIMID!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! _He colapces to his knees._

_**To be continued...**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Last time on 'The Timid Interviews'...**_

_Back at the interview site, everyone is milling around, chatting happily. Suddenly, a huge, swirling vortex opens. A man with a grey afro, thick, shiny goggles and a lab coat jumps out._

**Gray afro dude:** BWAHAHAHA!!! I AM PROFESSOR INSANE!!! I am a mad scientist, here for a new test subject. The last one had to retire.

**SF0324:** Why?

**Prof. Insane:** Because he died. BWAHAHAHA WOMBAT SOUP WITH SQUIGGLES! And I pick YOU! _Points at Timid._

**Timid:** M-m-m-ME?!?

**Prof. Insane:** Yes, you, my little chirping slug!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!! _He grabs Timid and dashes for the portal._

**Timid:** HEEEEEEELLLLLLLP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! _They disappears through the portal, which promptly closes._

**Shadow:** TIMID!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

_**Now for this chapter.**_

**Shadow:** ...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..._He runs out of breath. FINALY! (¬_¬)_ I'll get him. I honestly will.

**SF0324:** We may as well ask questions as we go along.

**Jenna:** Yeah, probably best. *Ahem* As honorary host, I say that we only have those who are vital to our quest to save Timid will be allowed in this interview. The rest of you, please re-post your questions and we'll get back to you. Thanks.

**Lucy:** All that needs is an 'after the tone' and it could be an answer phone message.

**Katt:** Let's go!

**Fox:** Um, Katt?

**Katt:** Yeah, Fox?

**Fox:** Do you mind staying behind with Krystal? I mean, just in case that freak Professor Insane comes back looking for a spare.

**Katt:** No problem Fox.

**Fay:** I'll stay, too!

**Krystal:** Well... hold on! Why am I staying?!?

**Jenna:** Pretend I'm Timid for this next line. *Ahem* (Think Timid. Think Timid. 'Oh Shadow I love you!' ...close enough.) Krys, are you NUTS?!? You're PREGNANT, for fuck sake! Do you WANT a miscarriage?

**Krystal:** No.

**Fox:** Krys, I'm REALY sorry, but this is the safest way.

**Krystal:** It's OK. I'll be fine. Hurry back.

**Fox:** I will. _They kiss briefly._

**Jenna:** Right. I'm taking Fox, Falco, Bill, Panther, Miyu, Theya, Shadow, SF0324 and Skate.

**Miyu:** But Skate isn't here.

**Skate:** I am now. I just came through the door.

**Theya:** So, does anyone know WHERE they are?

**Shadow:** I can teleport there.

**Panther:** How? And what about us?

**Shadow: **I can zero in on Timid. As for you lot, just hold on.

**Jenna:** Let's get some questions out the way first.

**Shadow:** OK then. _He sulks a little._ To Jenna: The ghost thing...yes, I think that might work. Thing is, I can't give out details. You might like it, as long as you don't mind being the bad guy for a bit. So, you wanna be named Jenna in it?

**Jenna:** I don't mind being the bad guy. And yes, I want to be Jenna. Plus, make me one of Timid's high school friends who died in a pool diving accident.

**SF0324:** To anyone: Mind telling me what "Gun rape" means?

**Krystal:** You shove a gun, barrel first, up someone's butt, then move it around so that they're uncomfortable.

**Skate:** Falco: Do you cock your head like birds do sometimes?

**Falco:** Only when I'm really curious.

**Skate:** *sigh*

**Jenna:** What's wrong, Skate?

**Skate:** I'm worried I might lose you to a coffee shop owner, if I haven't already.

**Jenna:** Oh, Skate. I don't need a coffee shop to make me happy. Too much coffee just makes me fall asleep. I-

**Shadow:** SKATE! JENNA! Let's GO!

_Everyone holds hands and cling to Shadow. He makes some signs and they all disappear, leaving Katt, Krystal and Fay behind._

**Katt:** What do we do now.

_Silence._

**Fay:** I brought Top Trumps.

**Krystal:** I'm OK with that. Let's play.

---

_The first floor of a three story lab. It's very dingy in the room. Fox, Falco, Bill, Panther, Miyu, Theya, Jenna, Shadow, SF0324 and Skate appear out of a swirling cloud of chakra. Shadow looks around, confusion._

**Shadow:** What happened? Where's Timid?

**Jenna:** Hmm... Hey Shadow, fire something over there.

_She points to just in front of them. Shadow obeys, but the fireball dies out after few meters._

**Jenna:** Just as I thought. An anti-magic field. I've seen these before, but never on this scale. We can walk through it, but no magic can penetrate it. We're gonna have to make our own way up.

**SF0324:** Let's ask some more questions!!!

**Shadow:** *sigh* FINE then. To Bill: You immature little shit! Pouring coffee down Fox's pants?! Wait, I wrote that. Never mind.

**Bill:** O...Kay. _He edges away._

**Skate:** Jenna: What's your favourite way to consume caffeine? Also, what's your favourite coffee place? Mine's Starbucks.

**Jenna:** I think drinking or eating it. As for my favourite place, I'd have to go with Greggs. It does great tasting, affordable coffee, plus there's loads of fresh pastries and cakes and sandwiches and stuff there.

**Skate:** Cool. Jenna: _ A portal opens and a frappaccino falls out and lands in Skate's hand_ Enjoy! People had better still bring you coffee even though you have a Starbucks! No one will see your craziness any more otherwise! And I love you and your craziness!

**Jenna:** _Bouncing up and down hyperly. Is hyperly even a word? Oh, sod it, it is now!_ I know! I don't think anyone could hate my craziness! _Giggles hyperly._

**Skate:** Jenna: Can I have another- MMPH _He's been cut off by Jenna crushing her lips to his._

**Jenna:** Another kiss? Of course! You can have ALL my kisses!

**Skate:** Cool.

**Shadow:** Can we just get ON with it, please?!? I want Timid back!

**Jenna:** OK, OK! Let's go.

_They all walk through the anti-magic field and are instantly faced with a problem. There are a hundred or more things that look like a cross between a rat, a hippo and a bull. They charge at the rescue party, drooling acid._

**Fox:** Holy shit.

**Miyu:** Fun.

**Shadow:** Let's get this over with.

---

_In the main lab. Timid is chained to the floor, her glasses cracked, her fur singed. A vague shadow outlines her body, protecting her from a pink laser As the laser turns off, Prof. Insane steps around a control panel. He doesn't look too happy._

**Prof. Insane:** FOR THE LOVE OF SHNITZEL MONKEYS!!! Why don't you just let me test out my invention?!? It won't hurt. Much.

**Timid:** I'd rather die! You've told me what that thing DOES!

**Prof. Insane:** In retrospect, that wasn't such a wombat-lovingly good idea. _He glances at a monitor showing the first floor._ Ah, their here. And they've met my Fringles.

**Timid:** ...Shadow's here...?

_Yes, he is. Why Fringles?_

**Prof. Insane:** WHO THE CRACKER-GULL ARE YOU!!!

_Me? I'm the Announcer Person. I'm not a physical creature, so I can be anywhere I want. Which brings me back to my question: Why Fringles?_

**Prof. Insane:** Because they LOOK like Fringles.

_Announcer Person: OK then. I'm back to the rescue party._

**Timid:** Come back soon.

---

_Back on the first floor, the fight is over. The only ones hurt are Miyu (with a small gouge on her arm) and Shadow (who has several nicks all over his body from being over-enthusiastic). There is grey mush everywhere. Even the rescue party. On closer inspection..._

_Announcer Person: OH MY GODS! That's disgusting! Those are Fringle guts! Eww!_

**Fox:** They're what-now?!?

_Announcer Person: Those things were apparently called Fringles. You're covered in their GUTS!!!_

**SF0324:** We kinda knew that.

**Shadow:** Let's get on with it! *sigh* My poor Timid...

**Jenna:** THERE! _She points to a narrow corridor._ I think I see some stairs!!!

**Shadow:** Let's go then!!!

---

_Prof. Insane's laser turns back off, but the shadow-shield is still there. Prof. Insane goes up to Timid and looms over her._

**Prof. Insane:** You stupid popping SLUG! I told you to turn it OFF!!! Now I've got to do something I didn't want to! BANANA FLAVOURED MONGOOSE!!!

**Timid:** ...Not this again...

_Hidden wires in the chains courses with electricity. Timid cries out in pure pain. After a few seconds, the electricity shuts off. Timid is panting with exhaustion. More patches of her fur are scorched._

**Timid:** ...I... CAN'T... turn it off. The... Shadow Realm... is bonded... to me. It will... protect me... however weak... that bond is. But it can't... protect me... from what's... touching me.

**Prof. Insane:** SHUT UP, YOU LION BISCUIT!

_Announcer Person: For the love of the Gods, why are you TORTURING HER?!? She told you she can't turn the damn thing off! Oh, here are the heroes_

**Prof. Insane:** What?!? Your supposed to be incapacitated with that weird FRINGLE LOVER on the second floor!!!

**Skate:** Really?

**Jenna:** There was no-one down there...

**Prof. Insane:** What? OH , THAT PHUT PHUT SHAGGING Cyber Wolf-Prototype-001!

**Timid:** :cough:cough: I'm sick of writing it already. Just call him CWP001.

**Prof. Insane:** He was supposed to be there to slow you GIBBER JABBERS down!!!

**Timid:** :cough: Oh come ON, Prof, :cough: the guy can't even keep up a regular posting for his stories! Why would this be any different?

**Prof. Insane:** IT MATTERS NOT!!! I'll do a deal with you, warm ice-cream scoops. I'll let her go, once I've done THIS!

_He turns on the pink ray gun. It hits Jenna and Miyu. 30 seconds later, the girls are kissing passionately._

**Prof. Insane:** IT WORKS!

_The girls break apart._

**Miyu:** YEUCK! _Kisses Panther._

**Jenna:** IT BURNS! I NEED TO GET RID OF THE TASTE!!! _Makes out with Skate._

**Prof. Insane:** For a while. Alright, you get the useless one back. BUT I SHALL RETURN!!! He_ presses a button that releases Timid's wrists from the cuffs and he runs through a nearby wall._

**Falco:** Well that was... weird.

**Shadow:** TIMID!

**Timid:** SHADOW!

_They run to each other, embrace, kiss and cry. Then Timid places the palms of her hands against Shadow's chest._

**Timid:** I love you...

**Shadow:** I love you too...

**Timid:** I had a change of mind about my cameo appearance. Dress me all in black and make me Shayne's partner.

**Shadow:** I'll see what I can do.

**Timid:** That's good... :cough: Now let's go home...

_The all hold onto Shadow and teleport home._


	9. Chapter 9

_We start today's interview, not in the interview room, but in a small room with black and purple walls, a green carpet, and a spider rug. In one corner is a bookcase, one shelf of which is a radio and a bunch of CDs. There is also a black bed with purple and green covers, a purple chair, and a black desk with a laptop and a bunch of papers on it._

_Timid is fast asleep in the bed. If we were to look into her head, we would see her dancing with Shadow Shinobi. As her mind places her head on his chest, she sighs aloud._

**Timid:** (sigh) Shadow-kun.

_Suddenly, Jenna bursts in. She's dressed in a blue shirt, blue combats and a blue jacket. She goes over and shakes Timid awake. As the covers are pulled away, we see that she's wearing a green night dress and no glasses._

**Jenna:** Come on, Timmy! The rest of the re-decoration is finished! We're doing another interview today! Get up!

**Timid:** Hmm... Okay, okay. I'm up. Now go away! I need to get dressed!

---

_All the interviewees are gathered in a massive living room. The walls have oak panels, and the floor are covered in cappuccino carpets. One wall is made completely of floor-to ceiling windows, except for glass double doors that lead to a massive balcony. There are several big, cushy, beige sofas, an oak coffee table, a 42" TV, and a massive sound system. In one corner was a kitchen unit with a coffee machine, a large sink, and a massive fridge. The shadow door is still next to the real door._

**Fox:** This CAN'T be the old interview room.

**Jenna:** It cost us a lot of money.

**Theya:** I think it was worth it, though.

_Timid walks out of her room. She is now wearing a black waist-coat, a white, short-sleeved shirt, a purple tie, a purple-tartan skirt, white long-socks and black boots. On her back is a mysterious black case, and she now has half-rimmed glasses. Shadow walks in at this point, and wolf-whistles._

**Shadow:** Nice outfit.

**Timid:** Thank you, Shadow.

**Jenna:** Let's get on with this.

_Everyone sits down on the cushy sofas. Timid is sat next to Shadow, her head resting on his shoulder, his arm wrapped around her shoulder._

**Timid:** First up is SF0324.

_SF0324 bursts through the shadow door._

**SF0324: **YAYS!! SHE'S SAFE AGAIN! _He stars doing the macarena._

**Miyu:** That's random.

**SF0324:** ONTO LE QUESTIONS!! Timid: When do I get paid? Also once I get off my lazy ass and type the damn thing will you check out my Q&A?? That is if the deadly sin will LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE! One more thing can I dispatch anyone with an Airsoft gunmetal H&K MP5K? PLZ?

**Timid:** I don't have a CLUE what the hell you're talking about.

**SF0324:**... you're dead to me...

**Timid:** Anyway, I've already paid you. 'Cuz internet banking rocks.

**SF0324:** Cool. Shadow: I'm just wondering if you can teleport...why didn't we just teleport to the actual lab? It would have saved me a lot of ammo and the need of taking 500 consecutive showers! _He sees grey speck in his hair._ DAMN IT!!!

**Shadow:** We couldn't, remember? There was an Anti-Magic Shield!

_**Flashback**_

_The first floor of a three story lab. It's very dingy in the room. Fox, Falco, Bill, Panther, Miyu, Theya, Jenna, Shadow, SF0324 and Skate appear out of a swirling cloud of chakra. Shadow looks around, confusion._

**Shadow:** What happened? Where's Timid?

**Jenna:** Hmm... Hey Shadow, fire something over there.

_She points to just in front of them. Shadow obeys, but the fireball dies out after few meters._

**Jenna:** Just as I thought. An anti-magic field. I've seen these before, but never on this scale. We can walk through it, but no magic can penetrate it. We're gonna have to make our own way up.

_**End of Flashback**_

**Shadow:** Remember?

**SF0324:** Oh yeah... Theya: If Katt was born pink...why is she black and white? Wait...did I ask this already? If I did what was Katt like when she was a baby?

**Katt:** She's not black and white YET!

**Theya:** It's a genetic thing. And she was just the most adorable thing EVER! She had the cutest little "What're you saying, I can't understand you" expression.

**Katt:** MOM!!!

**SF0324:** Sorry, didn't notice. Bill: When are you and Fay gonna have kids damn it?!?

**Bill and Fay:** WHAT?!?

**Bill:** K-kids?!? NOW?!?

**Fay:** I'm not ready for pregnancy yet!

**Krystal:** And just what exactly is WRONG with kids, Bill?

**Bill:** There's nothing wrong with kids. I LIKE kids. It's just I don't think I can go that long without sex right now. I mean, who can resist little Fluffy's body. She may be small, but she is WILD! _He pins her to the sofa and starts stripping her. Under her tight t-shirt was a red bra with a front clasp. Bill goes to undo it with his teeth when Jenna stops him._

**Jenna:** We took the liberty to convert some of the empty rooms into bedrooms. Third door on the left, called the "Butterfly Room". You'll find everything you need in the drawers.

_Bill and Fay dashed down the corridor and slam the door. The sound of passionate love making can be heard from the living room._

**SF0324:** O... kay then. To all: Is everyone as excited about the new Star Fox game that will be coming out as I am!?!?!? IT'S GONNA BE FUCKING AWESOME!

**Timid:** HELL YEAH! They haven't announced a plot yet, but I am STOKED!

**Shadow:** Same here!

**SF0324:** To Jenna: Here's an Olympic sized pool of coffee. Go crazy.

_Out on the balcony, there is an Olympic swimming pool filled with coffee. There was also a whole set of poolside furniture. Jenna is suddenly wearing a blue, scanty swimsuit. She ran out and dived in._

**Timid:** We should get back to the interview. She'll be out there for a while.

_They return to the cushy sofas._

**SF0324:** To Fay and Miyu: Okay If you could have absolute power over Bill and Panther...what would you make them do? And it can't be make them have sex with you over and over! A man's spirit is strong but hey we gotta take breaks...and if you do that over and over the passion kinda goes away. I'm ranting.

**Shadow:** Dude, Fay's not here.

**Miyu:** Get him to just... spend an entire day in bed with me, doing all sorts of dirty, DIRTY things to me. _Sits on Panther's lap, facing him._

**Panther:** Any time, Miyu. Any time. _Starts making out with her, kissing down her neck and over her breasts. Miyu leans back and cries out in pleasure._

**Timid:** To the "Spider Room", please. Last room on the left.

**SF0324:** To Katt and Falco: How would you guys having a kid work? I'm mean...never mind. I just made myself sick.

**Falco:** We've already answered that.

**Katt:** Yeah! No eggs, just either a feline or an avian.

**Fox:** Don't waste your breath, I don't think he listens.

**SF0324:** Okay that's all I gots. Oh and me and Shadow were wondering...How come you don't allow PMs?

**Shadow:** Yeah, how come?

**Timid:** I just realised. Sorry. I've sorted it out.

**SF0324:** All right. Oh yeah! To Timid: Yeah since Shadow is here just call me Night from now on...or Dusk? You chose. It would make it much easier and I hate seeing my name like that.

**Timid:** Sorry, no. I'll just get myself all confuzled.

**SF0324:** Oh, all right then. _He sulks slightly._ Okay I's done.

**Timid:** Since you've supplied us with a private pool, you're welcome to stay. Just don't go swimming yet. We'll get proper water in by next time.

**SF0324:** Cool! Lucky I brought my trunks.

_He goes out to the pool area._

**Timid:** Next up is my very own Shadow-kun!

**Shadow:** Did you just call me Shadow-kun?

**Timid:** Yes. Is that a problem?

**Shadow:** No, it's just, I came up with that one.

**Timid:** That's why I'm using it. _She hugs him, then heads towards the kitchen._

**Shadow:** Oh yeah. Go me. To no one at all: (In a British accent 'cause I'm not British) My damsel is back. (Back to normal) Now I need a sandwich.

_Timid comes back and hands him a three layered soft cheese and smoked salmon sandwich._

**Timid:** Here you are, sweetie. _Kisses him on the cheek._

**Shadow:** Cool, thanks. To Timid: Two things: One, I like your idea. But the best I can make you is...Well, I can explain in more detail if you answer the next question how I expect. Two, will you either a) accept PMs or b) give me your email since you can PM me? Please?

**Timid:** I've sorted it out. I didn't realise.

**Shadow:** It's OK, my darling, it's not your fault. _Kisses her forehead._

**Timid:** Aww. And ew. I now have soft cheese on my forehead. _Wipes it off her forehead with a handkerchief._

_Jenna rolls like a wheel through the open door to the pool. She then shook herself off like a dog, then started barking._

**Lucy:** If you don't calm down, I'll drain the pool and put swimming water in it.

_Jenna crashes from her caffeine high. She collapses, then stands up shakily, with tired eyes. She walks around and flops down next to Timid._

**Shadow:** That brings me nicely to my next question. To Jenna: Ghost a go-go! ...The accident, I could squeeze in. You make this work well. HUG! _Hugs Jenna for no reason other than pure friendship_

**Jenna:** Yay! _Hugs Shadow back._

**Shadow:** To all: All I got, so I gotta go...And cue Timid wanting me to stay. I'll just be reading, OK.

**Timid:** Oh... so I wore this cute outfit for nothing. _She starts to tear up._

**Shadow:** No, no, don't cry. _He wipes the tears away._ You look really cute. I'll stay.

**Timid:** Th-thank you. _Sniff._ Now, because Fox Fighter 220 tried to write my Q&A through his review, and Velk has bad spelling, and he's reviewed multiple times, here's Skate.

_Skate walks through the shadow door, and is pounced by Jenna._

**Jenna:** Hiya Skate!

**Skate:** Hey Jenna. Yay! Everyone's safe again! Timid: What do you think of people who try to write your stories through their reviews?

**Timid:** I hate them. Well, not hate, hate, but I don't like them doing it.

**Skate:** Cool. Krystal: Your tail rings look so good on you!

**Krystal:** Thanks. Ooh! _She places her hand on her round belly._ The baby kicked!

**Fox:** Really? _Places his hand on her belly._ I felt it too.

**Skate:** Woah. Amazing. Katt: Have you noticed your nipple suit caused no controversy whatsoever? People usually complain about dumber things. Actually, controversy would be Krystal's Adventures suit.

**Katt:** I don't give a damn! You can go stuff yourself! I know I'm sexy, I don't need creeps like you to tell me that!

**Jenna:** Don't insult my Skate!

**Katt:** Bring it, Bitch!

_A cat fight breaks out. Lots of slapping, punching, hair pulling, and scratching transpires. Jenna kicks Katt off of her and goes to throttle the feline, only to be cuddled to Skate's chest._

**Skate:** Now now, Jenna, don't waist your energy on her. _Kisses the top of her head._

**Jenna:** All right then... _Sits back on the sofa._

**Skate:** Fox: _He kicks Fox in nuts, then rolls on floor laughing._

**Fox:** _In a really high voice:_ Ow... _ Falls of the sofa._

**Krystal:** Fox!

**Fox:** I'm OK! _He sits back down. Skate sits next to Jenna._

**Skate:** Timid: Do you think I've been lazy lately?

**Timid:** It's not just you.

**Jenna:** Yeah. Timid's been erg lui with her stories.

**Timid:** HEY! Don't go insulting me in Dutch!

**Skate:** O... kay. On to the next one! Timid: What did you think about being tortured, then finding out your shadow powers were only protecting you from a lesbian laser?

**Timid:** I knew it would happen. My bond with the shadows isn't strong enough for full protection.

**Skate:** Jenna: What would you do if Al-Queda decided to bomb every coffee shop?

**Jenna:** I'd find 'im, kill 'im, then fall back on instant coffee.

**Skate:** Wow, adaptive girl. Falco: What makes you the most curious?

**Falco:** It changes.

**Skate:** Okay then. Miyu: Who would you despise kissing more than anyone else?

**Miyu:** It's a tie between YOUR ugly-ass face, and a zombie.

_Jenna looks as if she's gonna kill Katt in a very gruesome way. It involves a chainsaw, giant ants, and a lot of honey._

**Skate:** So it's not me for definite. Cool. Jenna: What do you think of the lesbian laser, besides it making you kiss Miyu?

**Jenna:** It was a freaky feeling. Like I wasn't me. Like I was some homosexual sex maniac!

**Falco:** Instead of the normal, strait sex maniac you normally are.

**Jenna:** Yeah.

**Skate:** Panther: What would you do if that strange Chinese restaurant owner from Aqua Teen came up to you and tried to cut off your dick?

**Panther:** Run for it. Then find a gun and shoot 'im.

**Skate:** Right, that's all I have... CYA All

**Jenna:** There's a pool of coffee out there. Come on. _She takes his hand._

**Skate:** All right. _They go out to the poolside and dive in._

**Timid:** Now for Ninja560.

_Ninja appears in a puff of smoke._

**Ninja:** こんにちは . I mean, hello.

**Timid:** Um, hi.

**Ninja:** To Timid: Have you ever head of me before?

**Timid:** Yeah, you reviewed me before. Oh, and you don't get your next question, or your last one.

**Ninja:** Dammit! Oh well. To Falco: DIE FALCO _He pulls out giant Samaria sword._

**Timid:** Oh no you don't!

_She draws something from the black tube from her back. It's a staff, about the same length and shape as Krystal's, only it's black, thinner, and at the gem end, there's an amethyst in a sort of half cage, like those things that keep diamonds in place on engagement rings. She uses it to block Ninja's blade._

**Lucy:** Woah...

**Theya:** This is new.

**Krystal:** Cool staff.

**Timid:** Thanks! After that run-in with Prof. Insane, I decided that I would no longer just sit back and watch the action, I'd be PART of the action.

_Timid hits Ninja's sword hand, immobilising it and causing him to drop it. Timid then span on one foot, then kicked Ninja back onto a sofa with her other foot._

**Timid:** Don't mess with me, ass face!

**Ninja:** Fine, I won't. To Fox and Krystal: Do you have a child?

**Fox:** Um, hello? Krystal is pregnant with our first kid here!

**Ninja:** Oops, sorry, hehe. To everyone: meet Liz and she is my OC and daughter of Fox and Krystal.

**Krystal:** Nice to meet you Liz.

**Liz:** Whateva. _Spots Timid._ Who's the freak wid the stick?

**Timid:** You better get her out of here now Ninja, before she becomes Liz-agna! _She raises her staff menacingly._

**Ninja:** Fine! _He grabs Liz by the collar and throws down a smoke pellet. When the smoke clears, both Ninja and Liz are gone. The shadow door slams._

**Timid:** That's it folks.

_Jenna comes bouncing in._

**Jenna:** Nexttimethepoolwillbefilledwithproperwater, soanyonewhomakesanappearencewillbeallowedtostay.

**Timid:** Yeah, okay, what she said. So, until next time...

**Timid and Jenna:** Bye byes!


	10. Chapter 10

_Everyone is gathered in the main interview room. Shadow is talking with Timid in the kitchen, who was collecting chips, dips and other snacks for the interview. Suddenly, out of no-where,Fox Fighter 220 appears in a free seat._

**FF220:** _Sighs._ My review... rejected... TWICE! Sorry if I tried to write your Q&A with my review I didn't realize how annoying that could be until I made my own Q&A

**Timid:** It's OK. At least you've learned your lesson.

**FF220:** I'll try again. Hopefully, I'll get it right this time. To Timid: Nice Q&A. And you did a good job with the re-decoration.

**Timid:** I know, the room looks amazing.

**Jenna:** I got a second job to help pay for it.

**Timid:** But it isn't random enough at the moment, so...

_A large watermelon lands on FF220's head._

**Shadow:** Does that make you feel better?

**Timid:** Yes.

**FF220:** Grr. You shouldn't encourage her Shadow.

**Shadow:** But I like being an enabler.

**FF220:** To Jenna: Hi.

**Jenna:** Uh, hi.

**FF220:** To Fox: Why do I feel like punching you right now?

**Fox:** Maybe it's because I had the last choc ice.

**Timid:** WHAT?!? _Starts to cry._ Th-that was... MINE!!! WAAH!

**Shadow:** You're gonna regret making my Timid-kun cry... _Starts advancing __menacingly__ on Fox._

**Fox:** ...mummy!

_Shadow starts beating the shit out of Fox. Meanwhile, Theya leaves, goes to the local corner shop,buys some more choc ices, comes back, puts away what she bought, and got a new choc ice for Timid. Shadow then gives Fox one final kick, then went over to Timid. Her fur still holds a few clinging tears, but she is happily munching on the choc ice._

**Krystal:** FOX!

_Announcer Person: I would describe Fox's condition, but then both you and I would be sick._

**Falco:** Now that, that is just sick.

_Timid sends out a little bit of shadow magic. It engulfs Fox for a moment, and when it lifts, the vulpine is unharmed, except for a bloodied nose, a black eye and a broken knuckle._

**Timid:** I couldn't just leave him like that. It was putting me off my choc ice.

**FF220:** Um... OK then. To Falco: Usually your the one I want to punch... But strangely today I wanna give you a fan letter from my friend... _Hands Falco a letter._ (Okay I was paid to say that...)

**Falco:** All right then... _Takes the letter and reads it, with Katt reading over his shoulder._

**Katt:** What IS your friend? Some sort of stalker?!? _Snatches the letter and rips it in two._

**FF220:** To Katt: Hi. You're a pink cat, but why pink? Why not green?

**Katt:** It's a little something called "genetics".

**FF220:** To Krystal: Congratulations on the baby! ^__^

**Krystal:** Thank you.

**Fox:** We're already getting congratulated, and the baby hasn't even been born yet.

**FF220:** Ah I don't wanna overload with my questions so I guess I'll go... Bye...

**Timid:** Wait! There's the pool. Olympic sized, proper water, lots of inflatables, comfortable pool-side furniture, and there'll be a little surprise later. Right Shadow-kun?

**Shadow:** Right Timid-kun.

**FF220:** Cool. Luckily, I couldn't find any underwear today, so I wore my trunks instead.

**Jenna:** Too much information... Just go.

_FF220 leaves through the glass double doors, to the outdoor pool._

**Timid:** Armageden999, if you want your questions featured, please, please, PLEASE, put each question on a new line. I can't tell when one question ends and the next one begins! And with that, we come to my darling Shadow-kun. Go ahead darling.

**Shadow:** Thank you, my lovely little Timid-kun. To Timid: _He summons his Enigmatic Garden key blade. It is made of black and dark red roses, with a frame that looks like purple flames. He slides the tip across the ground, making a small garden appear. He swiftly gathers the flowers up into a bouquet._ Flowers, m'love?

**Timid:** Oh, wow. They're beautiful.

**Shadow:** Not as beautiful as you.

**Timid:** _She blushes._ Why, th-thank you, Shadow-kun. I'll just go put these in some water. _Goes and does so._

**Shadow:** To Jenna: And a little somethin' for you. _He throws her a gift card to Starbucks, surprisingly with an unlimited amount of cash._ Enjoy.

**Jenna:** Thanks. _She slips the card into her back pocket._

**Shadow:** To Fox and Krystal: Tell me this. Are you guys going to leave Star Fox when the baby is born, or still serve and care for the baby at the same time.

**Fox:** I'm staying on with Star Fox. It's the family business.

**Krystal:** I plan to take a year or so off, to raise the baby, then go back to work.

**Shadow:** To Falco: I can't remember if I've asked this before on here or not. Would you classify yourself as a gangsta or a metal head? I have heard of you being one or the other many times.

**Falco:** Dude, total metal head!

**Shadow:** Cool.

**Timid:** I'm back.

**Shadow:** I missed you.

**Jenna:** I think I'm gonna be sick...

**Timid:** And I think you should shut up, Jenna!

**Shadow:** Now, now, Timid-kun. Don't fall out with your best friend over me. To Katt: With his answer, what would you be classified as?

**Katt:** I dunno. I'm sure as hell not a gangster, so I guess I'm a metal head.

**Timid:** Oh, and Shadow-kun?

**Shadow:** Yes, Timid-kun?

**Timid:** Slippy isn't here. That's why no-one's asked him any questions.

**Shadow:** Oh... Ah well. To Panther and Miyu: ...Does the word "kitty' or 'kitten' get thrown around, in that way? Yes, between the sheets, giggity giggity giggity.

**Panther:** Well...

**Miyu:** I'm his little kitten. And this little kitten likes man-milk.

_The feline couple look at each other for a second, then simultaneously and silently, they stand up and head for the "Spider Room"._

**Shadow:** Well, that was... gross. To Bill and Fay: Does the word "puppy" get thrown around, in that way, between the sheets?

**Fay:** Afterwards.

**Bill:** I feel like a little puppy in her arms.

**Fay:** I feel the same way. When you hold me, so securely, I feel so safe.

_Bill picks up Fay, carrying her to the "Butterfly Room"._

**Timid:** I'm loosing all my interviewees...

**Shadow:** To Jenna: You don't suppose a "SkateXJenna" thing will show up, eh? Eh?

**Jenna:** To tell you the truth, I'm crazy about him.

**Shadow:** Like I am about Timid-kun... _Timid and Shadow nuzzle noses and kiss gently._

**Jenna:** Stop now and I'll be able to keep it to dry heaves.

**Timid:** You haven't had your caffeine today, have you?

**Jenna:** I need a **NESCAFÉ** Cappuccino. _She wanders off towards the kettle._

**Shadow:** To Timid: I can't really think of any more. Mind if I stay for the rest of the show, Timid-kun?

**Timid:** Of course you can stay, Shadow-kun. In fact, I had an idea. _She whispers in his ear._ Good idea?

**Shadow:** Great idea.

**Theya:** What are you two talking about?

**Shadow and Timid:** Nothing sexual.

**Theya:** That makes a change...

_Suddenly,Twisted 93 spins through shadow door like the Tazmanian Devil in Loony Toons._

**Twisted:** Yay, the Q&A has finally been updated! _He does a crazy dance._ OK, on to the questions. Krystal: Two things: One, have you thought of a name for the baby yet? And two: Can I feel it kick?

**Krystal:** Um... One: If it's a girl, we've decided on Amber, and if it's a boy, we're going with Marcus. And two: Yeah, sure, whatever.

**Twisted:** Sweet!

_He places his hand on Krystal's stomach. He then starts dancing the can-can and singing "I felt it kick! I felt it kick!"_

**Twisted:** To... Ah crap, they aren't back yet. Oh well, Falco: What do think of OC characters?

**Falco:** They can be great, but they can also be crap.

**Theya:** Baring in mind that I, an OC, am your fiancée's mother.

**Falco:** You're one of the great ones.

**Theya:** Thank you.

**Twisted:** Fox; Do you really hate Wolf, even though he has helped you on occasions?

**Fox:** We're on even terms. We don't always like it, but we're on even terms.

**Jenna:** How?

**Fox:** Krystal gets along with his girlfriend, so we have to get along.

**Twisted:** Well, that's it from me, Bye! _He spins through the glass door, which is conveniently open,and dives in the pool, fully clothed. He then gets out and changes into a bikini and dived back in._

**Timid:** Well... that was odd. _She pulls a letter out of a shadow portal._ Shadow space. Great for storing stuff out of the way. _She opens the letter._

**Letter:** Dear Timid,

...What?

I've been away for to long.

Best Wishes,  
Krys.

**Timid:** Good to hear from you Krys. We miss you here.

_Timid opens shadow space to store the letter away, and out falls BigBossSonic._

**BBS:** That was cramped. Fox: I command you to...BRING ME A SHRUBBERY!!

**Fox:** _He sighs._ Fine then.

_He runs out, digs up a shrubbery from next door, and gets chased by their pit bull_

Fox: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

_When he comes back, he is carrying the shrubbery, and has the pit bull attached to his left arse cheek._

**Fox:** Ouchie. Here's your bush. Now, if Krystal would come help me, I have a pit bull to detach from my butt.

**Timid:** The "Centipede Room" is all yours. Second room on the right.

**Fox:** Thanks.

_Fox and Krystal head towards the "Centipede Room". At the same time, Fay and Bill came back from the "Butterfly Room". One of Fay's ribbons is missing._

**Fay:** That was fun.

**Bill:** I'll say.

**BBS:** Falco Do you have any drugs? Can I have some?

**Falco:** Dude, I don't DO drugs.

**Katt:** You did in high-school. Remember? The pot? The sex? The reason I'm engaged to you?

**BBS:** Damn, I wanted drugs. Ah well, I'm gonna go swim. Bye.

**Timid:** No swimming if you're high!

**Shadow:** Or stoned!

_A loud splashing can be heard from outside. BBS and Twisted are fighting in the pool, while FF220 throws wet sponges at them._

**Timid:** They act like three-year-olds. _She reaches into shadow space and brings out another letter._

**Letter:** Timid Vulpine,

This may very well be the crudest, simple-minded, childish attempt at humour I have ever witnessed on this website. Somehow, though, you've managed to make it work; I found myself laughing uncontrollably on multiple occasions and was over all very amused with this piece. I particularly enjoyed the surreal humour you employ throughout, such as Falco turning into random fruits and vegetables, Professor Insane, and Shadow's apparent omnipotence over the events of the narrative (banishing characters to the "Shadow Realm" was my personal favourite). I enjoyed the distinct atmosphere brought about by such events; indeed, the universe in which this takes place seems to be the type of world where physics do not apply, reality is distorted, and any thing is possible, however insane or implausible that may be (kind of like a Salvador Dali painting, really).

I could've done without a lot of the crass sexual humour you used; while it certainly is okay to use such jokes once in a while, reliance on and overuse of said jokes comes across as stale, boring, and unoriginal. It wasn't uncommon for me to be simultaneously amused and disgusted by a joke. If some of that aspect had been eliminated, the quality would have been exponentially better.

That is my only major complaint, though: as stated before, you've managed to make this work in its current format quite well and if you choose to continue that way I will nevertheless support your decision.

Overall Grade: B+

--DwarvesInc

P.S. The Aqua Teen Hunger Force reference towards the end was priceless, partly because ATHF is one of my favourite shows, partly because this whole story uses the same brand of humour that ATHF does.

**Timid:** Thank you Dwarves Inc. We'll just call you DI. I'm glad my Q&A manages to make people laugh. And I simply felt that it wasn't living up to it's M rated status, so I put a few extra sexual references in. Now I know it's overkill, I'll do my best to dial it back. Just two things: What are the Aqua Teen Hunger Force? And what exactly was the reference. I honestly have no clue who the hell they are.

**All:** Neither do we.

_Miyu, Panther, Fox (minus one pit bull) and Krystal return to the main area._

**Timid:** Now, if everyone in here would go and get changed into some swimwear, you go out to the pool -no, not you Shadow! Krystal, you can just relax by the poolside if you want.

_Everyone except Timid, Shadow and Krystal go and change into some form of swimwear or another and go out to the pool and start having fun. Krystal simply goes and watches the stunning sunset (yes, it is sunset) from the poolside, gently stroking her round stomach. When everyone else is outside, Timid snaps her fingers, and a shadow portal opens above the pool. Out of the portal drops Armageden999 (now known as A999), Ninja, Krys, Shaky, Skate (who is instantly tackled by Jenna), Bambiberrys (now Bambi) and DI, all in swimming gear. Shadow turns to see Timid's mischievous grin._

**Shadow:** What are you planning?

**Timid:** I've already told you, remember?

_She reaches into shadow space and pulls out a black carrier bag. He looks inside and grins._

**Timid:** Go get changed. The room at the end of the corridor is a changing room.

**Shadow:** Where exactly is YOUR room?

**Timid:** First on the right. But don't come in.

**Shadow:** All right.

_Shadow heads into the changing room with his plastic bag, and Timid went into her room._

* * *

_Out on the balcony, everyone was wondering why there was a large, black, red, purple and green stage out there now. It's illuminated by several spot lights. The sun has already set, and it's a beautiful night._

**Shaky:** Maybe it's a talent contest.

**Panther:** No, she would've made some of us enter.

**Krys:** She could've booked a big band to play.

**Jenna:** We don't have the funding. Not after the redecoration.

_Suddenly the spot lights go out and music starts. Then, a single spotlight shines on Shadow. He is wearing a black leather jacket, army green combats, a brown vest, and red trainers. In one hand is a microphone, and with the other one, he counts off numbers as he says them._

**Shadow:** 1,2,3...

Go!

_He starts to sway to the beat. _

Yeah...  
Ciara...  
Too Sexy...  
_Gasp._

Ciara...

**Timid:** Here we go!

**Shadow:** Talk to me...

**Timid:** _Another spotlight turns on, revealing Timid in a purple and black checked boob-tube, black leather, calf-length shorts, elbow-length black gloves and black, knee-length platform boots. Her hair is tied in a neat pony-tail, and she's walking towards Shadow with the beat, a mike held to her mouth.._

Your touch is so magic to me,  
The strangest things can happen.  
The way that you react to me,  
I wanna do something you can't imagine.

_She reaches Shadow, takes his hand in hers, then wraps it around her front, so that they're still facing the audience. She starts swaying with him._

Imagine if there was a million mes,  
Talking sexy to you like that.

**Shadow:** Yeah.

**Timid:** _Timid takes Shadow's other hand, the one holding the mike, and wraps his arm around her collar bone._

You think you can handle, boy,  
If I give you my squeeze,

_She pushes him backwards sightly, then he pushes her forwards_  
And I need you to push it right back .

**Timid:**_Shadow twirls her out._

Baby, show me,

_He twirls her back in._

Show me,

_She crouches down slowly, her rear end keeping in contact with Shadow's body._  
What's your favourite trick that you wanna use on me.

_She jumps back up._  
And I'll volunteer.

_They both take a step to the left._  
And I'll be flowing,

_They both take a step to the left._

and going,

_Timid stands beside Shadow._  
Till clothing disappears

_They move backwards two steps backwards simultaneously._  
Ain't nothing but shoes on me

_They turn to face each other._  
Oh, baby.

**Timid and Shadow:** _They move in Timid's direction._

All night, show it, just you and the crowd,

_They move in Shadow's direction._  
Doing tricks you never seen.

_They spin in opposite directions, end up facing each other, then crouch down._  
And I bet that I can make you believe,

_They lean back on "love", roll onto their fronts on "sex", and stand up on "magic"._  
In love, and sex, and magic!

_They spin to face each other, then move in Timid's direction._  
So let me drive my body around you,

_They move in Shadow's direction._  
I bet you know what I mean!

_They spin in opposite directions, end up facing each other, then crouch down._  
Cause you know that I can make you believe,

_They lean back on "love", roll onto their fronts on "sex", and stand up on "magic"._  
In love, and sex, and magic!

**Shadow:** _He spins around and wraps an arm around Timid's waist. She puts her mike to his mouth._

Everything ain't what it seems!

_He waves his other hand (with his mike in it), then pulls her backwards._  
I wave my hands and I got you.

_He pulls her around with him, so they're both facing the audience, then spins her on the spot._  
And you feel so fly assisting me,

_He lets go of her hand._  
But now it's my turn to watch you.

_Timid steps behind Shadow, who steps forward Timid places her arms around Shadow's neck._  
I ain't gonna stop you if you wanna crowd my neck,

_He takes her right hand in his and pulls it away from his neck, and held strait out on their right._  
Talk sexy to me like that.

_They step to the left and slide their right legs to catch up._  
Just do what I taught you, girl,

_Shadow guides Timid quickly back to his front._  
When I give you my heat,

_She gently pushes him backwards, while he places his arm back around his neck._  
And I need you to push it right back.

**Timid:**_Shadow twirls her out._

Baby, show me,

_He twirls her back in._

Show me,

_She crouches down slowly, her rear end keeping in contact with Shadow's body._  
What's your favourite trick that you wanna use on me.

_She jumps back up._  
And I'll volunteer.

_They both take a step to the left._  
And I'll be flowing,

_They both take a step to the left._

and going,

_Timid stands beside Shadow._  
Till clothing disappears

_They move backwards two steps backwards simultaneously._  
Ain't nothing but shoes on me

_They turn to face each other._  
Oh, baby.

**Timid and Shadow:** _They move in Timid's direction._

All night, show it, just you and the crowd,

_They move in Shadow's direction._  
Doing tricks you never seen.

_They spin in opposite directions, end up facing each other, then crouch down._  
And I bet that I can make you believe,

_They lean back on "love", roll onto their fronts on "sex", and stand up on "magic"._  
In love, and sex, and magic!

_They spin to face each other, then move in Timid's direction._  
So let me drive my body around you,

_They move in Shadow's direction._  
I bet you know what I mean!

_They spin in opposite directions, end up facing each other, then crouch down._  
Cause you know that I can make you believe,

_They lean back on "love", roll onto their fronts on "sex", and stand up on "magic"._  
In love, and sex, and magic!

**Timid:** Oh!

**Timid and Shadow:** _Timid spins towards one side of the stage, while Shadow slides towards the other. They end up facing away from each other._

This is the part, where we fall in love!

**Timid:** _The duo turn toward each other again._

Lo-o-o-ove!

_Timid tosses her head back, her hair tie falling out in the process, and Shadow steps towards the audience._

Shada!

**Timid and Shadow:**_ They start walking towards each other._  
Oh, let's slow it down so we fall in love...

**Timid:** O-o-oh

_They stop just past each other, leaning back to back._  
But don't stop what you're doing to me.

_They use the short instrumental to turn to each other._

**Shadow:** _He leans into her ear._

Ciara…

**Timid and Shadow:** _They move in Timid's direction._

All night, show it, just you and the crowd,

_They move in Shadow's direction._  
Doing tricks you never seen.

_They spin in opposite directions, end up facing each other, then crouch down._  
And I bet that I can make you believe,

_They lean back on "love", roll onto their fronts on "sex", and stand up on "magic"._  
In love, and sex, and magic!

_They spin to face each other, then move in Timid's direction._  
So let me drive my body around you,

_They move in Shadow's direction._  
I bet you know what I mean!

_They spin in opposite directions, end up facing each other, then crouch down._  
Cause you know that I can make you believe,

_They lean back on "love", roll onto their fronts on "sex", and stand up on "magic"._  
In love, and sex, and magic!

**Shadow:** _They turn to face each other._

Oh!

**Timid and Shadow:** _They move in Timid's direction._

All night, show it, just you and the crowd,

_They move in Shadow's direction._  
Doing tricks you never seen.

_They spin in opposite directions, end up facing each other, then crouch down._  
And I bet that I can make you believe,

_They lean back on "love", roll onto their fronts on "sex", and stand up on "magic"._  
In love, and sex, and magic!

_They spin to face each other, then move in Timid's direction._  
So let me drive my body around you,

_They move in Shadow's direction._  
I bet you know what I mean!

_They spin in opposite directions, end up facing each other, then crouch down._  
Cause you know that I can make you believe,

_They lean back on "love", roll onto their fronts on "sex", and stand up on "magic"._  
In love, and sex, and magic!

_They sway to the beat of the instrumental._

**Shadow:** _He takes her hand and they both turn to the audience._

Yeah,

_He sets her spinning towards his other side, tuns 360 degrees, catches her, and dips her so her hair brushes the floor._

Did I see you on the floor.

_Shadow sets her down gently, his hands on the small of her back._

Get it girl.

**Timid:** _She places her arms around his neck._

Love, sex and magic.

**Shadow:** _He lifts her up slightly._

Said I see you on the floor.

**Timid:** _Pulls herself closer to him._

D'ya know what I mean?

**Shadow:** _He pulls her up to his chest and stands upright._

Get it girl.

**Timid:** _Spins around and places her back to his chest._

I bet that I, can make yo believe,

**Timid and Shadow:**_She grabs his hands and pulls his arms around her waist._

In love, and sex and magic.

**Timid:** Yow!

**Shadow:** _They sway to the beat until the end of the song._

I see you on the floor.

Get it girl.

_The music ends. The audience erupts in tremendous applause. The singers/dancers are simply stood there, panting. Timid places her head on Shadow's chest... and has an odd sense of deja vu._

**Timid:** (I'm sure this has happened before. But it hasn't... wait a second... that dream! The one Jenna interrupted...)

**Skate:** That was amazing!

**Krys:** But why?

**Timid:** Because, as of Friday just gone, I'm no longer a Year 10 student! The summer holidays start on Monday!

**DI:** Haven't they already started?

**Timid:** No, weekends don't count.

**Shaky:** I didn't know you could sing.

_Timid puts her hand out and her staff appeared in her hand. She hit Shaky on the head._

**Shaky:** OW!

**Timid:** That's what you get when you try to control my story with your review, then being a cheeky bugger!

_As Timid and Shadow share a loving look, star above glints, and an object approaches. With a gentle rustling of wings, Lord Fate lands on the other side of the pool. (If you don't know what Lord Fate looks like, please read Forbidden Lynx.) Ninja is the first to notice._

**Ninja:** Who the hell are you?

**Fate:** Why do you not ask Timid? She knows me as well as she knows Shadow.

_Shadow looked from Lord Fate to Timid, wanting for an answer. Timid is giving Lord Fate a slightly annoyed look._

**Timid:** Lord Fate. He's a God. He looks after those with pure intentions, and he keeps the time lines in order. What I don't understand is what he's doing here.

**Fate:** I am here to help you access your shadow powers more thoroughly. Give me your jade pendant. You have exceeded the level of control that you can access with it..

_Timid obediently takes off her jade and hands it over. Fate clasps it by it's black cord, then starts to chant. The air around the pendant turned black, then white, then cleared, leaving the jade... no longer being a jade. It is now an amethyst pendant. Timid retreves it and puts it back on.._

**Timid:** Oh wow. Thank you.

**Fate:** The amethyst will allow you to reach your true potential as a Weilder of the Shadows. You may need it. Now, if you'll excuse me, _He takes off._ I have work to attend to.

_With that, Lord Fate flies off into the the night. As soon as he's out of sight, Timid turns to Bambi, Shaky and Ninja._

**Timid:** I will say this ONE, last, time. You try and write my Q&A through your reviews... YOU WILL DIE!!! Oh, and Bambi, I've turned off the profanity filter, so you might be able to swear in your reviews. Please test, anyone.

**Bambi:** Cool.

**Jenna:** And guys... LORD FATE WILL NOT BE APPEARING NEXT TIME, SO THERE WILL BE NO QUESTONS FOR HIM!!!

**Timid:** Oh, and please, if you get the chance, have a look at my Ratchet and Clank story, "Mage Tales 1: The Discovery". It's not finished yet, but a few more reviews might move me to get my arse moving with it.

**Shadow:** And Timid-kun is now taking requests for songs. Preferably by a female artist, or a duet. She will then listen to the songs, and will sing the one she likes best at the end.

**Timid:** Thanks, Shadow-kun. I almost forgot about that. Now, I'm gonna go get changed back into my normal clothes. So, from all of us authors, here on the balcony poolside,

**Authors:** Bye byes!


	11. Chapter 11

_Shadow and Timid are walking, hand in hand, to the building where the interview room is. Upon entering the room itself, they saw everyone else was there, gathered around Fox and Krystal, who were holding something. On closer inspection, they are holding a fox cub. He looked liked Fox, only with blue fur instead of russet._

**Katt:** Aw, he's adorable!

**Miyu:** I want one!

**Panther:** Are you sure about that, Miyu?

**Theya:** How long were you in labour?

**Krystal:** Twenty-six hours. It was exhausting.

**Theya:** That's longer than I was with Katt...

**Katt:** MOM!!!

**Shadow:** So the baby was born, then.

**Krystal:** Yep. Marcus McCloud, born on the eighth of September, two pounds, two ounces.

**Timid:** Aw, so cute. As the baby's been born already, any questions such as, "Can I feel it kick", or, "When is it due", will not be featured. Now, without further ado, here's Fox Fighter 220!!!

_FF220 dived through the shadow door and rolled to his feet._

**FF220:** Hola! ¿Como estas? eh... on second thought I won't speak Spanish, 'cause that would force you to use an on-line translators, and they're all crap...

**Timid:** Thank you.

**FF220:** To Timid: Got any beer? Just asking...

**Timid:** No, I don't. Sorry.

**FF220:** Ah well. To Jenna: when did your caffeine addiction start? (why do I feel I spelt a word wrong there? I probably did...)

**Jenna:** When I was studying for my exams at the Academy, I was so worried that I'd forget something, I stayed up all night, revising and re-revising each subject. After two hours, I'd take a break and make myself a cup of coffee. That's probably when it started.

**FF220:** Cool! To Timid: Oh yeah, nice song... uh... lemme think... (OK, this is country so some may not like it but its the only female singer song I can think of right now.) Love Story by Taylor Swift.

**Timid:** I've decided to only do songs in the even chapters. But feel free to leave suggestions!

**FF220:** Alright. To Fox: Do I smell burnt hair?

**Fox:** Sniffs. Sniffs_ again. Then he notices the small flame in FF220's hair._ Uh, that's you.

**FF220:** _Glances up._ Fire. COOL! _Reality goes up to him and kicks his common sense into gear._ AAAGH! FIRE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHHHHHHHHH!!!

_Timid opens a small portal above FF220's head, dousing him with snow._

**FF220:** Aaah... and Brr. To Falco: That red under your eyes, it's make up isn't it?

**Falco:** NO! Dude, it's... uh...

**Katt:** His mother was half parrot.

**Falco:** KATT!

**Katt:** Would you rather everyone thought you were a poof?

**Falco:** ...nah!

**FF220:** Ahem! To Shadow: Since you're one of my best friends I have to do something to you (I pick on all my friends), so I might as well throw you in the pool, fully clothed and as is! Tries_ to laugh evilly but ends up coughing._ Ack! I've been kinda sick and I'm just getting over it...

**Shadow:** Don't worry. And as for the pool thing, you can try, I won't do anything to stop you. _He points at Timid, who has drawn her staff and is looking at him in a menacing way._ But she might.

**Timid:** If you so much as TOUCH my Shadow-Kun, I'll shove this staff so far up your arse that not even a masochistic, bisexual guy would like it! Then I'd get it bleached with black bleach.

**FF220:** Um... never mind... To Katt: So, let me get this straight, you're only with Falco... because of the weed?

**Katt:** Partly that, partly we got sent to rehab together.

**Falco:** I hated the bit with the origami...

**FF220:** To Miyu: Would you mind if I gave you a hug? Sorry that was random...

**Miyu:** Not as random as Timid. No-where NEAR as random as Jenna. _She shares a big, friendly embrace with FF220._

**Timid:**Speaking of Jenna, where IS the local caffeine addict...

**Shadow:** Beats me.

---

_Somewhere off in the city, outside the local Gregg's, Jenna is sat on a bench, happily unwrapping her recent purchase._

**Jenna:** Ah, a frappaccino and a coffee doughnut. What could be better?

_Daydreaming about making out with Skate as you enjoy them?_

**Jenna:** Announcer Person? What are you doing here?!?

_I'm a non-entity. A sort of Anthropomorphic Personification, without the body._

**Jenna:** True. On both points. _Starts eating her doughnut and drinking her frappaccino while thinking of Skate. She sighs._ Ah, Skate.

_I think I've cured peoples' curiosities. Back to the interview room!_

---

_Back in the interview room... (where else would we be, the Polaris Galaxy?!?... Hold it... Oh, shit, we are.) Oops! Now I'm an entity, it's harder to get to where I'm needed. Anyway, over in the Polaris Galaxy, (on the Phoenix, coincidentally) Quark is posing for himself in front of his mirror. Suddenly, he turns around and starts looking for... well, me._

**Quark:** Hey, who's there?!? How did you know I was looking for you.

_(I can have some fun with this guy...)_ _I'm a someone who was possessed and called to death by the dead. I'm telling them about you so that they can do the same to you._

**Quark:** Aaagh!!!

_We... I mean, they, are already in your head..._

**Quark:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHHHHHHHH!!!

_He runs out through the door, not waiting for it to open. Oh God, I love doing that._

---

_Back in the interview room (this time, we actually ARE!), everyone is sat around in the chairs and sofa (the girls still cooing over baby Marcus), and FF220 is out in the pool. Then, in comes Samurai of Fate (A.K.A, Ninja, hence known as Sam)._

**Sam:** Cool. To Timid: I will now go crazy. *Ahem* Hehehe! HAHAHA! HAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA! Hehehe... OK, I'm done.

**Timid:** Good. Just so you know, I'm going to leave out some of your questions.

**Sam:** DAMNIT!!! Oh well... To Timid: Why didn't you let me use my author powers?

**Timid:** Because this is my QA. I am the only one who can change the cast, settings or surroundings. NOT, YOU!

**Sam:** Alright, alright. To Shadow: You and Timid are perfect for each other.

**Shadow:** I know. _He kisses Timid, who kisses him back._

**Timid:** That is SO sweet of you, Shadow-kun.

**Sam:** Aww, cute. Oh! Look at the time! I need to go.

**All:** Bye Sam!

_Sam throws down a smoke pellet. As the smoke clears (with everyone coughing), the shadow door slams._

**Krystal:** Jerk! There is a new born in here, y'know!

_At that point, Skate and Jenna walk through the real door together._

**Jenna:** What up, guys!

**Timid:** That brings us nicely onto our next guest: Skate.

**Skate:** YEAH! NO MORE FUCKING PROFANITY FILTER! It's not just the censorship that bugged me. It's the overreacting of the filter. Fox: High time I update, right?

**Fox:** You're not the ONLY one. _WHACK!!!_

**Timid:** Puts_ her staff back in it's case._ Enough smart remarks, Fox.

**Fox:** _From on the floor._ Ow...

**Skate:** Um... Eep? Any: Anyone watch South Park?

**Timid:** Occasionally

**Krystal:** Not any more. They aren't suitable enough for Marcus.

**Falco:** Used to. I'm too busy with Katt in the evenings.

**Jenna:** I always miss the it on the bloody TV, but I see them online.

**Skate:** Really? Cool! Timid: Congrats on year 10! What do you think of Shadow's new truth, dare, or strip?

**Timid:** Thanks. Year 11 actually. Check your facts. Year 10 ended. And yes, I LOVE truth, dare or strip. I can't get enough!

**Skate:** Alright. Jenna: Doin' anything tonight?

**Jenna:** Depends. What are you doing?

**Skate:** Well, that remains to be seen...

**Theya:** Can we get on with this?

**Skate:** Timid and Jenna: Would you play truth, dare, or strip if given the chance?

**Jenna:** Hell yeah!

**Timid:** Depends who else is playing.

**Skate:** Falco, Panther, and Bill: What would you think if your girlfriends got pregnant?

**Bill:** I dunno. Probably go blank with shock and happiness.

**Fay:** Aw, Bill, you are SO sweet! _Kisses him._

**Panther:** Have a party!

**Miyu:** You'd really be that happy?

**Panther:** Yep. _Kisses her._

**Falco:** At first? Freak out.

**Katt:** But you'd calm down, right?

**Falco:** Eventually.

**Katt:** Well, it's a start.

**Skate:** Oh, man! I've been seriously neglecting my fic. I'll update soon.

**Timid:** Take some time to relax by the pool, get your ideas together, and all that shite.

**Skate:** Will do.

_Skate goes out to the pool, followed by Jenna. Then Bambi rushes through the shadow door, screeching to a halt mere millimetres from Timid._

**Bambi:** ...the...song..was very confusing...this was not really good...but... what can you do? T.T also... HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW WHAT AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE IS!?!?!?!

**Timid:** _Cowering behind Shadow._ I'M ENGLISH, IDIOT!!!

**Bambi:** ...Ohhh... HOLY POO! YOU INCLUDED ME!? I FEEL AS HAPPY AS A CLAM THAT GOT EATEN! OH WAIT...never mind..thank you, arigato, yeah...I had been checking everyday...for the longest time...

**Timid:** You could just add the QA to story alert, you know...

**Bambi:** DAMNIT!!!! Okay.. To Falco: Has a human ever chased you on Thanksgiving's day? If so, did you shoot them?

**Falco:** Dude, I'm a falcon, not a turkey!

**Bambi:** Oops. To Fox: I like your tail, and so do my friends, it looks like a paintbrush dipped into white paint, yeah... also, My friend Pam says your hot...uh...yeah...

**Fox:** Good for you, all of you, especially Pam.

**Bambi:** To Timid: Um... I don't know how to break it to you but... The new Star fox game isn't coming out. I went to an official website, and one of the CREATORS himself said he didn't like the Wii as a good shooter thing. And don't get me wrong, me and my friends were going gaa gaa over it, but then we stumbled upon someone who said they'd confirmed it wasn't coming, and that's why Command had so many endings to it, because, after that how are supposed to follow all those endings to 1 game!? ... I'm am truly sorry...

_Timid, Shadow, and all the other authors (who are inside by MAGIC, and the fact they were hungry) break down into floods of tears. A small ferret rows a tiny canoe through the room. After a few a minutes, everyone calms down, and Timid opens the door to let out the mini-flood._

**Timid:** Now that that's over, you can get on with you're questions.

**Bambi:** To Jenna: ...I've never been to Starbucks...

**Jenna:** Good, they're a rip off.

**Bambi:** To Panther: What IS that mark on your cheek? Birthmark? Scar? Fungus!?!?! O.o

**Panther:** Scar. Didn't we go through this?

**Timid:** I think so...

**Bambi:** Oh well. To Falco: ...Do you ever get boogers?

**Falco:** Dude, I don't have a nose!

**Bambi:** So?

**Falco:** No, dude, I don't get boogers.

**Bambi:** To everyone: Has anyone in there entire life ever been caught poking your belly button!?

**Krystal:** When I first got pregnant...

**Bambi:** To Krystal: I digg yo' fur colour dawg...er...Fox...he he...

**Krystal:** Thanks.

**Bambi:** Well dat's all dis hobo gots! If you wanna see my dumb videos, I'm bambiberrys on youtube... err... sorry for that... I just need viewers... PLEASE DON'T KICK ME OFF FOR THAT! D: anyway... Arigato Minna! (Thank you everyone!) I'll be eating some tuna in the pool...

**Timid:** If it's live, it's eaten NEXT TO the pool. No-one wants to be swimming in bloody water.

**Bambi:** Don't worry, it's tinned.

_Bambi goes out and eat tinned tuna in the pool. Timid turns to Shadow._

**Timid:** Your turn, Shadow-kun.

**Shadow:** Of course, darling. To Timid: ...This is a stretch...But have you heard the song "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne? I'm normally not into that kinda music, but it's a good song. Maybe...That could be my request?

**Timid:** Of course, sweetie. But I'm not doing a song this time, remember?

**Shadow:** Oh yeah... damnit.

**Timid:** I'll remember it for next time though.

**Shadow:** Arigato, Timid-Kun. To anyone who can tell me: Either I can't remember or it wasn't said here: why is Slippy gone?

**Fox:** Still on his honeymoon with Amanda.

**Theya:** What a honeymoon! Over a year now.

**Shadow:** To the couples: What is the difference between the Butterfly and Spider rooms, other than design? Do they hold different "wonders", perhaps?

**Timid:** Whatever the occupants wish for.

**Shadow:** Cool. To Timid: BTW, did you know that my Guitar Guy (Metal Guitarist 101) has his own Q&A? Just letting you know. He's also my Q&A apprentice, since I know him real life.

**Timid:** I'll have a look for it, Shadow-kun.

**Shadow:** Thank you. To everyone: Uh...I guess, does anyone have any questions as to my fics?

**Jenna:** Yeah. When you gonna get off your lazy ass and get writing?

**Timid:** JENNA!!!

**Jenna:** What?

**Shadow:** To Bambi: Peanut Butter Advertisement Time! I gotta say, you're the kind of hyperactive, go to kinda person I need for my Q&A...You mind reading it and leaving me a review, perhaps? Q&A Madness by Shadow Shinobi57, just so we're clear...So yeah.

**Bambi:** _Yelling through back into the room._ I'll see what I can do!

**Shadow: **To Timid: Sadly, I'm out of questions...All the Q&As have run me out...But I'll still stay here with you, Timid-kun. _Embraces her_

**Timid:** Thank you, Shadow-kun. _Kisses him passionately._

_Suddenly, BD987 bursts in._

**BD987:** To everyone: Ha ha! It's me, I'm back...Fine! I know none of you bums remember me cause I was here only once, but forget you all! I have questions anyway.

**All:** Kinda guessed that...

**BD987:** To everyone: If you could be a colour of one of the mighty morphin' power rangers what colour would it be. Mines is definitely Black. Cause black is always awesome.

**Krystal:** Blue.

**Fox:** Blue.

**Theya:** White.

**Katt:** Red.

**Falco:** Blue.

**Miyu:** Black.

**Panther:** Black.

**Lucy:** Yellow.

**Jenna:** Blue.

**Timid:** White.

**Shadow:** Black.

**BD987:** To Timid: To add to bambi's confusedness how can you not know Aqua Teen Hunger Force. That's just a terrible crime of nature and I may have to report you. Handbanana forever!

**Timid:** Already answered that. I'M ENGLISH!!!

**BD987:** _In an Ominous Voice_ Tonight...You! _Points at Timid._ And...You! _Points at Krystal_ And...You three! _Points at Miyu, Fay and Katt. In his Regular Voice. _But...Not you though! _Points at Jenna._

**Girls who were pointed at:** Why us?!?

**Jenna:** Why NOT me?!?

**BD987:** BWAHAHAHA!!! To Jenna: You know a lot of people give you coffee and of course it's because ya like it. But no one makes it extra special. Here. _Hands her an Ultra-cup._ This is a special Dragun blend very caffeinated and awesome.

**Jenna:** Uh, thanks? _Sniffs it._ YOU LIE!!! There's NO caffeine in this!

**Skate:** You can really SMELL if there's caffeine?

**Jenna:** Yep. I trained it myself.

**BD987:** DAMNIT!!! To Falco: Can I have one of your feathers I wanna use it as a quill to write stuff.

**Falco:** No, find a pen!

**BD987:** PU-LEEEEZE?!?

**Falco:** NO!

**BD987:** AWW!!! _Sulks, then gets over it._ To Falco: One more thing. If you don't taste like chicken what do you taste like. I hope it's not pigeon cause they taste terrible.

**Falco:** HOW THE HELL WOULD I KNOW?!?

**BD987:** I don't know... To Krystal: Ya know I don't know why so many people wanted you in Brawl. I mean all ya do is telepathy can you even fight? I'll bet it's because of certain ASSets (Hint Hint Boobs Boobs) _Wink Wink._

_Krystal freezes. Then she handed Marcus to Timid._

**Krystal:** Hold him for me, Timid.

**Timid:** Of course. (Oh my Gods, he's so CUTE!)

_Krystal then proceeds to beat BD987 senseless. Once she has finished and cleaned up, she takes Marcus back. Timid sent a shadow out to the broken, battered, blood spattered body of BD987. He is consumed, then released him, fully healed._

**BD987:** Owie... To Everyone: Do you ever play board games. If so do you have a specific board game you like? Classic Monopoly, maybe scrabble, or maybe even Apples Ta Apples.

**All:** Dungeons and Dragons.

**BD987:** All of you?

**All:** Yup.

**Krystal:** Except Marcus. His is Cribbage.

**BD987:** How..?

**Krystal:** Yeah, somehow.

**BD987:** Go figure. To Everyone: Ah this was fun. I remembered why I love doing this stuff. Also it would be funny if you and Shadow sang that duet from Family Guy that Stewie and Olivia did.

**Timid:** I don't watch Family Guy. I have no idea what you're talking about.

**BD987:** ...You're dead to me... Anyway, I'll be in the pool. Laters! _He walks out the door to the swimming pool, closing his eyes as he goes past Timid._ Hmph! _Unfortunately, he forgets to opens his eyes again and falls in the pool, fully clothed._

**Timid:** Weird.

_Just then, Yamagata sashes in, a small dog under her arm. I'll just call her Yama. She puts the small dog on the floor._

**Yama:** Like, hi! So, like, to Krystal: If you, like, showered with cold water, how would you feel?

**Krystal:** Same as anyone else: cold.

**Yama:** That is so, like, totally cool! To Katt: How do you feel when you are making love to a bloody woman?

**Katt:** I wouldn't know. I'm strait.

**Yama:** Woopsie! I'm, like, so sorry. Anyway, if anyone, like, needs me, I'll be out by the pool. _She leaves, small dog yipping as it chases after her._

**Timid:** _Under her breath._ Bimbo.

_Next to come in is SPEAKERnight. I'll just call him Jason._

**Jason:** Hey, name's Jason I'm kinda new to this fic. You said you were taking song requests. I have a few you would probably like: 1. Another Ciara track, this time's it's "Keep Dancing on Me". 2. BoA - I Did It For Love (feat. Sean Garrett). 3. Avril Lavigne - The Best Damn Thing.

**Timid:** Hmm, it's a tough choice. I'll be singing next time.

**Jason:** OK.

**Timid:** And you're not allowed to ask that first question, as it would take too long. Plus, we wouldn't want Marcus to be given any nightmares.

**Jason:** Aww... To Timid: How come Wolf and Leon aren't here? I also heard that they were goin with each other. Is that true?

**Timid:** First off, I have some ideas in the pipeline, involving girlfriends, for those two. Second, it's gaytard people like Shaky who put Wolf with Leon. If you have a gay Wolf, you put him with Fox.

**Fox:** WHAT?!?

**Timid:** Don't worry, I'm not gonna make you gay!

**Fox:** Phew.

**Jason:** To Lucy: Would you date Wolf if you had the chance to?

**Lucy:** No, I've got my Georgey.

**Jason:** Good for you. I'll be out by the pool-

**Timid:** Actually, could you get everyone to come back in? I have an announcement to make.

_Once all the authors are in the interview room, Timid stands on a coffee table, helped up there by Shadow._

**Timid:** Alright, everyone. You might know, or you may not, that I recently created a poll, asking whether or not I should make this Q&A into a crossover with Ratchet and Clank. I can now reveal the results of hat pole...

_Just then, a quiet, polite knocking comes from the shadow door. Everyone looks._

**Theya:** That's never happened before...

_The polite knocking comes again, this time slightly louder. Krystal holds Marcus closer, and Fox clutches the both of them. Timid hops down from the coffee table and tries to go and answer it, only to have Shadow push her behind him protectively._

**Shadow:** Don't go near it, Timid-kun!

_Then, a loud, impatient banging came from the shadow door, followed by a female voice yelling._

**???:** You gonna let us in or what?!?

_Timid gently pushed past shadow, going to the shadow door and opening it._

_The first to enter is a tan Markazian with reddish-brown eyes and short, pitch-black hair. She is wearing black jeans, a black Flyleaf t-shirt, black boots, and a katana at her hip. She is the same person who yelled through the door._

_The next to enter is another Markazian, almost identical to the first, except for waist length hair, tied up with a white scrunchie, and glasses. She is wearing a white little fox t-shirt, white denim shorts, white long socks, and white converses._

**Short Haired Stranger:** About bloody time!

**Timid:** Sorry. I kinda got delayed.

_The two girls look at each other._

**Strangers:** ooOOooh!

**Timid:** Not in that way!

_She turns and makes her way back to the coffee table and stands on it, flanked by the strangers._

**Timid:** As I was saying, I can now reveal the results of the poll. This is Kai Swordsmith. _Indicates the short haired stranger._ And this is Tessa Swordsmith. _Indicates the long haired stranger._ As some of you might know, they are my OCs that feature in my R&C fan fiction. They are here to begin the phase that I like to call, "Crossing".

**Miyu:** You don't mean that...

**Timid:** Yes, I do mean that the poll gave a result of yes to the idea of turning this Q&A into a crossover.

_There is a general cheering. Then, BD987 raised his hand._

**Timid:** Yes, BD987?

**BD987:** Why didn't you use an official character? And can I get a better name?

**Timid:** There are two reasons I didn't use an official character. 1. I'm doing something with my R&C fan fiction that effects the official characters, so I want to get that done to a certain extent before putting any in. And 2.I want to have more OCs in here.

**Tessa:** It's great to be here.

**Kai:** Suck up.

**Jenna:** Kai, I think you and I are going to be good friends.

**Timid:** And that's about it for this chapter, except for this announcement. _Clears her throat._ WE WILL DEFINITELY BE WANTING QUESTIONS FOR KAI AND TESSA!!! AND IF YOU CAN'T FIND US HERE, TRY THE CROSSOVER SECTION!!!

**Jenna:** Anything else?

**Timid:** Oh yeah! ALSO, SONGS WILL BE FEATURED EVERY TWO TO THREE CHAPTERS TO INCREASE UPDATE SPEED!!! OH, AND WE DON'T MIND ADVERTISING FAN FICTIONS OR YOUTUBE STUFF!!!

**Jenna:** So, 'til next time...

**Timid and Jenna:** Bye byes!!!


End file.
